Monday, August 31, 2015

Cockneys vs. Zombies (2012) NR

Michelle Ryan (Bionic Woman), Harry Treadaway (Honeymoon), Alan Ford (Snatch)

A pair of bumbling brothers decide to rob a bank when the old-age home their grandfather who raised them is living in goes into arrears.  What could go wrong?  Try the zombie apocalypse.


In the tradition of Shaun of the Dead, this is the tale of kids fighting their way across the city to save their loved ones.  While Cockneys is not quite as funny, and the blood effects not quite as good as Shaun, it does have its charms. There is a heartwarming message about sticking with family, that war veterans are tough as hell, and you should never taunt bullies in the pub while including your brother.

However, at times it felt like a long comedy sketch that was just an excuse to put semi-automatic weapons in the hands of septuagenarians. 

Seven laugh out loud moments for me during this film, but a lot of them were near the end.  One eyeroll moment at the possibility of fitting a grenade in someone's mouth, zombie or not, and this guy's face and jaw were undamaged.  One holy crap moment that I didn't make a note on, but probably has to do with some of the slice and dice with the katanas later on in the old folks' home.

I gave this a three out of five stars.  It's not a terrible film, but the CGI blood effects for the head shots was abysmally obvious, and when put side by side with the practical gore effects, it was very jarring.  It would have been a solid four if they'd just tweaked them a little bit.

Good for a Halloween movie marathon, especially at the dvd price point of under $8, but honestly I'd stream it on a service rather than buy it, even if you want to see someone hotwire a red double-decker bus.

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