Monday, October 31, 2016

2016 NaNoWriMo Hiatus

I forgot to mention today that from now until the end of November I will be taking a brief hiatus to participate in National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo.

For those of you unfamiliar with the program, it's a one-month dash to finish a 50k word manuscript, which works out to 1,667 words per day.  Since American Thanksgiving falls right before the deadline, I round up my daily word count goals to 2,000 so I can hopefully finish before I have to start prepping for the holiday.  It's hard work and I don't want to dilute my efforts, so I'll be taking a short break from the movie reviews.

Have a wonderful November, and I'll see you December 1st!

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Resident Evil (2002) R

A militarized corporate security squad enter a secret underground facility to shut down a malfunctioning AI computer system after a lab accident that exposes hundreds of scientists to a reanimation virus.

The word "zombie" is never used in conjunction with the Resident Evil films, and yet I still consider the franchise to contain my favorite zombie films of all time.  We have a strong female protagonist who (at least in this film) owes her abilities to nothing more than training and intelligence... as far as we know.  We get a concise plot that has depth but is still easy to follow.  Frankly I find the films more enjoyable than the games they are based on, and I've played a lot of zombie games.  My dislike of the games isn't distaste for the genre, but we're not here to review the games.

The first in the quintet of Resident Evil films can be a bit clunky.  I can't tell if the atrocious computer graphics are to pay homage to the original game, or if they were on a seriously tight budget, but the Red Queen and any computer maps look seriously dated.  Like early '90s dated.  This is fine as an homage to the original game, but does not hold up well on film.

The first twenty or so minutes of the movie also seems slow and pointless... it's only at the end where memories are regained and the cause of events becomes clear that the necessity of the beginning being the way it is makes sense.  After that, it picks up.

This movie is not terribly heavy with gloppy gore, but there is some.  The reanimated scientists are sufficiently creepy on their own, and the addition later of the reanimated dobermans and experimental mutating beings just adds to the creep factor.

Good for the later hours of an all-night Halloween fright fest, when the pre-teens have gone to bed, you'll find that crafting during this movie works pretty well... you can drop your needles when you want to pay attention to the screen, and concentrate furiously on your hands if you don't like looking at gore.

Four and a half out of five stars.  The CGI tongues of the creatures look pretty bad, considering the era it was made, and the setup for the second film deflates the ending somewhat, otherwise this is a great action horror flick for older viewers.  There are several series sets out there now with three, four, and five films in them, so be sure to check carefully if you're deciding to purchase them as a set instead of individually, or use my links below.

 




Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Tremors (1990) PG

The isolated town of Perfection just found out that the humans living thereare not alone in the valley.

Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Michael Gross, and Reba McEntire (in her acting debut) star in this story about a small, isolated town in the desert named Perfection that suddenly finds itself the center of monster activity.  These creatures they named "graboids" listen for the slightest vibration, chase it down, and eat it.  Can the handful of residents survive?

As I was watching this mild horror flick for the umpteenth time my daughter asked "Why do we love this movie so much?"  It's been our favorite go-to late-night movie for many years, and one I wasn't afraid to show her even when she was a pre-teen (F-bombs and gloppy deaths not withstanding).  For one thing, it's funny.  Kevin Bacon has always been adorably charming in nearly everything he's in, and this movie is no exception.  Ward, Gross, and McEntire play quintessential small-town characters, but they're not complete caricatures, just real.  Okay, Burt Gummer (Gross) is a bit over the top, but in this case that adds to the humor.

For another thing, this story is original.  It's not a remake, it's not a re-imagining of some 19th century literary bugaboo, and it's like nothing we've seen before.  That alone earns it a lot of points in my book.

I've watched this over twenty times, but it still earned five laugh out loud moments from me today.  If this is your first viewing, it might earn you even more.

Five stars.  I might have dinged it down to four and a half for Gross' slightly over-the-top survivalist portrayal and the almost audible statement by the actress that plays Valentine's (Bacon) love interest that she will only do nudity if it's integral to the plot, but these things are minor and I can find no other faults.  It's family friendly, if you don't mind the language, and perfect for a Halloween fright-fest with the older kids who are too young for slasher flicks.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Spies Like Us (1985) PG

Chevy Chase and Dan Ackroyd star in this screwball comedy about two government spies who are really, really bad at their job... but still manage to avert WWIII.

It's been a while since I've seen a Chevy Chase comedy (not counting Community), and I'd forgotten how idiotic his films can sometimes be... but idiotic in a good way.  The scene where he's taking the GS-20 exam with the eye patch is nonsensical and hilarious.  It's too bad I always get the feeling he's visually measuring every female cast member for the casting couch, which gives him a smarmy, raunchy aftertaste that sometimes puts me off.

Dan Ackroyd is, as always, a gem... managing to make intelligent, technical dialogue funny.

For makers, this is an excellent film, as the humor translates very well if you're only listening (with the exception of the early test scene that is essentially 85% slapstick).  There are also long dry stretches involving convoluted cloak and dagger with the bureaucrats back home, which frankly don't need to be followed very closely.

Several laugh out loud moments, and only one eye roll as the hapless spies try to perform an appendectomy using a book.  Three and a half stars, but only because the Reagan jokes aren't really funny anymore, and those long stretches focusing on the bureaucrats back in the states are rather dull and oh so serious.

Fire this up if it's an old favorite and you want something you don't have to think too hard about.  At this price point, it's worth adding a cultish-classic to your '80s collection.



Monday, October 24, 2016

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) PG-13

Twenty years to the day after their first incursion, the aliens are back, and this time they've brought their queen.

As a sequel this movie did a lot of things it was supposed to do... it retained the spirit and emotional resonance of the first, it included as many of the previous actors as was feasible, and did call-backs to memorable moments.  They even included another scene with a dog in peril.

The problem with this is that the original was also glossy and skimmed the surface.  With so many characters and sequences of events, there is no depth.  The script does a fantastic job with imparting a lot of details about these people and their lives, but I challenge you to care about just one of them in anything more than just a superficial way.  The guy gets a date with the Chinese pilot.  The bureaucrat learns to fight.  The two pilots reunite at the end, and Levinson's dad gets to kvetch.  Do we care?  Meh.

If you enjoyed the first movie, you will enjoy the second movie... there is no question.  However if you're looking for a movie that makes you think, or might change or inspire the world, this isn't it... and sometimes that's okay.

Ten laugh out loud moments mostly from snappy comebacks, one holy crap moment, and a ground-breaking combination eyeroll and lol moment when Jake takes a piss on the aliens' deck.  As a diversion, I guess it worked.

It has stunning visuals reminiscent of the first film, and even after twenty years the aliens are as creepy as ever.  I just wish I cared about the people that populate the film just a tad more.  Four stars, eh... three and a half.


Thursday, October 20, 2016

Major League (1989) R

The new former-showgirl owner of the Cleveland Indians wants to move the team to Miami, but has a contract with the city that states she can't break it until attendance drops below a certain level, so she puts together a team of has-beens and misfits she thinks is sure to lose.  They set out to show her they've got what it takes to win.

Following our sports theme this week, this is a cast of steady stars and then up-and-comers, much like the baseball lineup they portray.  Corbin Bernsen, Renee Russo, and Tom Berenger who were all steadily working names in that era contrasted by Charlie Sheen and Wesley Snipes, both of whom went on to steady careers (and troubles) later, but who were just getting started then.

It is said that this film captures the essence of the interior workings of America's pastime in a solid comedy, and while I can agree with that, I also feel it flags in the third act.  Maybe because I know how it ends, by the final game scenes I just couldn't muster up the excitement of "will they or won't they win?"

As a background for makers, this is a solid choice.  You might miss some amusing facial expressions and good-luck gestures, but it's largely follow-able without needing to study the screen every second.  If you can craft to a regular baseball game and know the score, you'll do just fine with this film.

However, as a film itself I give it only three stars.  I found the romance between Russo and Berenger lukewarm at best, and didn't really feel it added to the film at all except as padding.  The rest was macho posturing and a glimpse at the effects of sudden fame, when I would have rather watched them on the field.  What can I say?  I like baseball.  If I want to see girls throwing themselves at guys in a bar, I've got three within walking distance.

But there are many solid laugh out loud moments, and the athleticism is fun to watch.  Enough to make this an excellent choice to add to your sports collection at this price point.



Wednesday, October 19, 2016

xXx (2002) PG-13

An extreme athlete with a bad habit of punishing senators by stealing their cars and jumping them off bridges gets shanghaied into infiltrating a Czech anarchist group bent on demolishing the world's governments with bio-weapons.

This movie is what the James Bond franchise would be if he started out as a disrespectful tattooed thug.  Um, wait...

The first time I saw this movie back in 2005 I wasn't terribly impressed.  The humor was a little weak, the villains just a bit too stereotypical, and it really wasn't apparent what a threat this group was until very late into the picture.  It's grown on me, however, since the introduction of Daniel Craig's version of Bond.  There's a definite feel to this film, and you get the sense that we were making a bid for our own American Bond knock-off.  It was just a touch too early, and promoted poorly.

In any event, as a background movie for makers, it rocks if you like action pictures.  We have gadgets, explosions, Samuel L. Jackson, and classic cars.  Not a lot of exposition, and a smidge of romance added in, although I could do without the skanky stripper chicks, and prefer the angry Czech intelligence woman who looks like she could have been an extra vampire in Blade.

Two generic laugh out loud moments (probably when someone was being extra snarky) and one holy crap moment when someone dies a surprisingly sudden death.  Three and a half stars, and that's after I warmed up to it.  This originally came out when we were just getting to know Vin Diesel, and I don't think he'd really gotten the acting thing down just yet.  His love for pictures involving American muscle cars is very evident, though, and you can just see the glimmer of what's to come.

It's on Netflix for a short time longer, otherwise you can add the disc to your action collection at a very reasonable price point.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Point Break (2015) PG-13

A pro dirt-bike daredevil quits the circuit after the death of his riding partner and joins the FBI just in time to catch a batch of eco-terrorist criminals who rob and pillage American companies around the globe.

They kept all the character names, and tried to preserve the adrenaline junkie spirit of the original film (and the scene where Utah shoots his gun in the air in frustration.  Why?  Who knows?) but in the end this film left me feeling flat and uninterested most of the time.  Maybe it's because the actors are younger, but I had a hard time telling most of Bohdi's crew apart.  They kept all the nicknames... Roach, Grommet, Chowder... but all played by Venezualans.  What?

Pappas was reduced from Gary Busey's amusing sidekick role in the original to a mere prop with a french accent in this remake, which I found annoying.  Utah's floppy hair and extreme ink made me struggle to take him seriously as an agent in law enforcement, and the only highlights for me really were some of the gorgeous scenery and the appearance of Teresa Palmer who I recently enjoyed in Warm Bodies.

As a crafter's movie, however, this was pretty good.  I found my knitting energized during the extreme sports sequences, although the chase and gunplay scenes tended to make me pause.  Try to do your crafting without looking at your hands, or you'll miss some amazing vistas.  As a film I give this about three stars.  Not terrible, but definitely not the best... and certainly no replacement for the original.  But if you enjoy sports films or extreme sports in general, this is not a bad thing to have running in the background while you make something.


Monday, October 17, 2016

Point Break (1991) R

An up and coming FBI hotshot is tasked with infiltrating a bank robbery crew comprised of surfers, and he gets a lot more than he bargained for.

A baby-faced Keanu Reeves (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, John Wick) and hirsute Patrick Swayze (Dirty Dancing) star in this undercover action flick that seems to have been written for adrenaline junkies. You've got your stereo-typical screaming cop-boss, the aging partner (Gary Busey) who does things the old way and is close to retirement, and the pair of agents who share your stakeout that hate your guts.  Throw in the 80's/90's near-seeming requirement to flash boobs for an R rating, and it's your classic cop movie from my era.  Pair it up with Eddie Murphy's Beverly Hills Cop and Richard Dreyfuss' Stakeout and you've got a classic triple feature.

For makers this is an okay film, as there are stretches of dialogue and research that don't need your eyes to be enjoyed, but you will drop your needles for the skydiving and car chase scenes.  Possibly also the surfing, as the water is beautiful.

One eye roll when Reeves is earnestly trying to win over Lori Petty and a laugh out loud moment when he tells his boss he takes the skin off chicken.  Four and a half stars, but that may be nostalgia talking.  When this movie was new in theaters and dinosaurs roamed the earth I always felt it was written for adrenaline junkie thrill seekers and not meant to be enjoyed by a larger audience.  I've warmed to it in recent years.

Fantastic if you want to craft to something that reminds you of your glory days, or want some pretty scenery to look at.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Paycheck (2003) PG-13


What would you do to see the future?  And what would you do to change or protect it?

A reverse-engineering expert routinely takes jobs and his memory is erased afterward... the ultimate non-disclosure guarantee... but on his latest job, instead of a paycheck, he received an envelope of mysterious everyday items.  Now he has to use these items to figure out why people are trying to kill him.

Perhaps it's inevitable that I will continually compare and contrast Ben Affleck and Matt Damon... no matter how hard they try they will be forever linked in the memories of those of us old enough to remember "Good Will Hunting" and the Oscars.  Unfortunately in such a comparison, Affleck continually comes off as smug, smarmy, and arrogant, in contrast to Damon's sincere earnestness, and this film is no exception.  Pair that with Uma Thurman being constantly pushed into our face as some kind of epitome of beauty, and this should be a movie I cannot stand.

The concept, however, manages to overcome all that... mostly.

A laugh out loud moment with Affleck's crossed fingers, and an eye roll moment at the question mark, but otherwise this is a straight-up mystery action flick with a futuristic twist.  This is a great film for makers provided you don't get distracted too often by hand to hand combat and gun play.

Four out of five stars... those smug faces at the cocktail party are just enough to ruin it for me, but enjoyable as background filler if you're into tech or second chances.



Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Iliza: Confirmed Kills (2016) TV-MA

Iliza Shlesinger's standup Chicago special about millennials, grandpa's war stories, feminism, and the stupidity of a grown adult wanting to be a mermaid.

If feminism pisses you off, don't watch this unless you like getting pissed off.  I found her show to be a wonderful mixture of humor, TED talk, and Shark Tank review.  Liberally peppered with hashtags.  Hilarious hashtags.

So tell your party goblin to go read her Teen Beat, this is fantastic for crafting to, although you might drop your needles once or twice while laughing too hard.  Ten counted laugh out loud moments, and one was a hearty belly laugh that lasted a good ten or fifteen seconds.

Four and a half stars.  Since I don't watch Shark Tank, the last bit was over my head, but she's a terrific actress who flows in and out of her characters well.  Fire this up on Netflix if you have an hour to knit and laugh.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Trading Places (1983) R

A managing stock broker and street-hustling con-man end up trading lives on a bet set up by two rich men.  Dan Ackroyd, Eddie Murphy, Jamie Lee Curtis

If this wasn't already filmed in the '80s, it would be the perfect farcical representation of the decade, right down to the framed picture of Reagan on the Dukes' desk and Curtis' chunky geometric earrings.  By all means, go topless to go to bed, but never, ever remove the earrings.  It's not like they're uncomfortable or anything.

You will either love, or hate, this movie.  You will either love the screwball comedy, or get angry at the machinations of two rich, bored, old white guys.  It is, however, completely chock-full of funny moments, and featured a lot of talent that went on to become famous in their own right.

Younger viewers who missed the '80s may be shocked at Eddie Murphy's then less squeaky clean performance, and it does show how much he cleaned up his act after becoming a parent. 

Eight laugh out loud moments, but a stretch of boredom in the middle where it sags.  An eyeroll at the fate of Clarence Beeks (Paul Gleason, The Breakfast Club) and another at the typical antics of Jim Belushi.  Does he ever not play a drunken frat boy?

As a movie for makers, this is excellent, as you can concentrate on your work during that sluggish middle act, and the only sight gags come near the end (although Ackroyd eating salmon through his Santa beard on the train is an indicator of how far he's fallen by that point).  Four stars (the relentless topless-ness was unnecessary and probably to secure their R rating, which was considered a financial money-recouping requirement during that era).  Put this on when you're in the mood for funny, but don't want to have to concentrate every minute.

Monday, October 10, 2016

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) PG-13

When the first mutant is awoken from his stone prison deep beneath a pyramid in Cairo, the X-men fight to stop him from cleansing the earth of its human inhabitants.

As a fan of the Marvel universe, I enjoyed this film immensely.  Was it perfect?  No.  Was it as bad as other critics have made it out to be?  No.  It's a difficult job to balance a huge arch-villain, four or five core heroes, four or five villains (some of whom switch sides later on) and make them all engaging and at the very least, people you can empathize with and understand.  I feel they accomplished this with very few errors.

As a crafter's movie, it depends on what distracts you.  I am constantly mesmerized by the battle scenes, especially Quicksilver's sequences, and I am constantly missing tiny, humorous bits that happen when I briefly look down.  Ultimately, if you're like me, save the knitting until your second or subsequent watch-throughs so you can catch all the moments the first time.

Four out of five stars.  While I enjoyed the film a lot, especially some more back story on Jean, Scott, and Logan's relationships, plus Erik's history, this movie just wasn't as deeply satisfying to me overall as some in the past.  I couldn't take the villain seriously, since he was mostly just manipulating others.  We knew he couldn't ultimately defeat Charles in an intellectual battle of wills, not with all of his friends around, and so I never really felt the danger.

By all means add this to your X-men collection, but maybe wait for the price point to fall down a bit before you bite.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

TV Review - Timeless - Season 1: Pilot

A history professor (Abigail Spencer), a Special Forces soldier (Matt Lanter), and a computer programmer (Malcolm Barrett) travel back in time to stop a terrorist from changing life as we know it.

A new time-travel series from producers Eric Kripke (Supernatural) and Shawn Ryan (The Shield) attempts to explore American history and the events that shaped our country.  It's not as technologically deep as Continnuum, but it's also not as preachy about big corporations, so it's a trade-off.  I found the pilot to be a bit bland, although there were some funny moments.  Big eye-roll moment with the insertion of modern pop-culture references (a bit too Back to the Future) but I enjoyed exploring the events of the Hindenburg, and only wish they'd gone more into depth on that, and less into the fictional characters they populated the era with.

After the initial scenes with a bit of German and subtitles, this is an excellent show to knit to, as the time-travel aspects (so far) aren't too complex to track.  It feels more like an excuse to do period action scenes than an actual exploration of history.

As I am a sucker for all things time-travel, I will give this a few episodes to get going.  Right now it's sitting at a solid three and a half stars.  A hand-to-hand combat scene in the kitchen of the Hindenburg is all well and good, but it doesn't make up for the rather banal beginning.  At $20 for a pre-order of the season though, you're hard-pressed to find that many future hours of entertainment at that price.



Wednesday, October 5, 2016

ARQ (2016) TV-MA

Robbie Amell (The Tomorrow People), Rachael Taylor (Jessica Jones)  A weapons engineer is reliving the same terrible day over and over in this Neflix original film set in a future apocalypse where a mega-corporation has taken over and a group of resistance fighters known as The Bloc are fighting for human freedom.

I'm a sucker for good time-travel or time-loop stories, although they can sometimes be tedious.  This was gritty and down to earth, with no slick white futuristic lab... just a guy and his garage.  It was way easier to understand than Primer but not nearly as much fun to watch as Retroactive.  I found ARQ to be ultimately depressing, leaving me with a sense of futility.  And there was a lot of blood in the meantime.

Not a lot of reactionary counts on this one... one LOL moment when the couple pops up out of bed cursing, and a couple of holy crap moments when people died unexpectedly or in extra hideous ways.  It's not that it's terribly bland, just not that surprising.  If you're a fan of this type of story, then you've seen it before... it's just the science that's different.

Ultimately, if you like time-loop stories and they don't distract you, you'll find this one a good one to craft to.  It doesn't condescend, but neither is it too obscure that you feel like you have to study every moment to follow the story.  Just make sure you have something light and funny handy as a palate cleanser after, because it's a bit on the grim side.

Four and a half stars.  I don't always need a happy ending, but the specifics of this tale ending in such a depressing manner hit a little too close to home.



 

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Ghostbusters (2016) PG-13

 Four women who are passionate about the science behind ghosts band together to stop a maniacal fanatic bent on breaking through the veil and releasing ghosts into our plane.

The '80s classic Ghostbusters gets a facelift in this re-imagined version that pays fair tribute to the spirit of the original.  When I heard about the gender swap, I was skeptical.  When I heard Chris Hemsworth was going to be the receptionist, I rolled my eyes, and while some parts of his role were certainly cringe-worthy, in the end the whole amalgamation of parts came together in a fun, enjoyable film.

The spirits themselves were very reminiscent of those in the original film, but the graphics were of course up to date.  The general design continually called back to the source, but still had its own spin on everything.  And when Zuul was mentioned at the very, very, very end, I cheered.

So many laugh out loud moments I lost count.  A few holy crap moments for some jump scares and rather gross possession scenes.  I didn't even try to knit, as I was engaged from the very beginning.

And honestly ladies, it was worth the purchase just to see Hemsworth lead a choreographed group dance scene.  Yum.

If you're nostalgic about the original, you will not be disappointed in this remake.  Between the cameos by the original cast and the clever shout-outs (such as Slimer emerging with a mouth full of hot dogs) fans of the original should be whooping with recognition at every turn.  And at this price point it's a great addition to place on a shelf next to the others.

Monday, October 3, 2016

Superfast! (2015) PG-13

An undercover cop joins a street-racing thievery ring and gets more than he bargained for in this fast-paced spoof.

This is not normally my type of movie... I'm drawn to a more cerebral type of humor.  I do have to admit though, I laughed a lot at this movie, even it if it was laughter of the "OMG this is so stupid" variety.

If you don't mind gross-out humor, fast cars, and appreciate Airplane!-type movies, then this is for you.  For knitters, there might be a few things you miss if you don't watch the screen the whole time, but it's still slightly enjoyable background noise.

Many, many laugh out loud moments (over ten) sprinkled with a few needle-dropping moments, eye-rolls, and holy crap moments.  It's slightly racist at times, and you get assaulted with T&A in the first thirty seconds, but if you're looking for fluff you can forget when it's done, this will fit the bill.

Three stars.  I liked it a little, but funny as it is I don't think I'll purchase it, not even at this price point.