Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Led astray by the machinations of a young Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg), Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) fears the possible ramifications of a superhero with no oversight, and goes after Superman (Henry Cavill).  The hero of Gotham goes on a quest to find kryptonite to take down the Man of Steel.  Will the arrival of Diana Prince (Gal Gadot) show him the error of his thinking?

Where do I begin?  First, this movie is long.  Ridiculously long.  Don't get me wrong, I love superhero movies.  I am currently working my way through the Marvel universe for the third or fourth time, for fun, and I love it.  I also love the characters of Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman, but this?  This movie does them all a grave disservice.

It is my opinion that DC has seen the success of Marvel, and is trying to play catch-up.  The problem is you canNOT jam the content of hundreds upon hundreds of issues of a comic into a single movie.  This movie was a chopped up mishmash of a thousand events that they tried to distill into a single script.  It cannot be done coherently.  It was NOT done coherently.  Watching the movie with a friend, who has read all the back issues of the comics related to these three characters and the Justice League, at several points we stopped, looked at each other, and said "What the heck is going on?".

If you're a crafter, and don't care whether or not you're following the story, this can be great... it's noise and the occasional flashy bit of action to keep your brain occupied while your hands are occupied on something else.  Just be sure to set aside three (!) hours of uninterrupted time.  More if you have dogs or children who need to be fed.

I did not have any counts for this movie... I was so annoyed by Bruce Wayne's flashes of imagination to his future dystopia with Superman as an evil villain (all of which could have been cut... seriously) that I just couldn't muster any kind of response to anything on the screen.  No laugh out loud moments, no "holy crap!" moments, no dropping of the needles distracted by the action, and I couldn't even be bothered to count any eyeroll moments because the whole movie is one big one.  Even by the time Wonder Woman used her golden lasso, all I could muster up was an "Oh, neat." And she's my favorite super hero.

So thanks, DC.  You managed to let a very large group of people ruin her for me.  Two out of five stars for this movie.  And for the love of all that is good, don't waste your money on the 4k Ultra version.