Cat Run (2011) R

 Paz Vega (Carmen), Janet McTeer (Songcatcher), Alphonso McAuley (Breaking In), Scott Mechlowicz (Gone)

When an east European hooker finds herself at a party where everyone is killed, she goes on the run with a video-surveillance hard drive that may or may not keep her alive.  She steals a car from a pair of would-be detectives, and now everyone is just trying to stay one step ahead of the hired guns who are out for blood.

This movie is a mixed up bag of styles that shouldn't work... but somehow does.  I will

Sex Tape (2014) R

Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother), Cameron Diaz (Charlie's Angels)

A married couple get a night without the kids, and to celebrate they make a video of themselves having sex.  Trouble is they didn't know it would autosynch to the cloud.  Now it's out there, and they have to try and get it back before it ruins her career and his life.  Cuz if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Okay, you do not want to watch this if the F word is a problem for you.  Just don't even

Ted (2012) R

Mila Kunis (Friends With Benefits), Mark Wahlberg (Contraband), Seth MacFarlane (A Million Ways to Die in the West)

What if a young boy's Christmas wish that his teddy bear came to life actually came true?  And what would their lives be like twenty-five years later?

I'll be totally honest, I did not want to like this film.  I am not a fan of crude

The Uninvited (2009) PG-13

Emily Browning (Sucker Punch), David Strathairn (Alphas), Elizabeth Banks (Man On A Ledge), Arielle Kebbel (Daydreamer)

Hospitalized after the death of her ill mother in a house fire, Anna (Browning) returns home to find that her mother's in-home nurse is now dating her father.  With no memory of that night, she is haunted by ghostly events and she fears that Rachael (Banks) may have been responsible for the tragedy.

A remake of a Japanese film (A Tale of Two Sisters), I can't help but feel I'm

The Bag Man (2014) R

John Cusack (Identity), Robert DeNiro (Cape Fear), Dominic Purcell (Assault on Wall Street)

A hitman, Jack, (Cusack) is tasked by his boss Dragna (DeNiro) to pick up a bag and deliver it to a motel in the middle of the Louisiana bayou.  His instructions?  Wait in room thirteen, and don't look in the bag.  The problem is the small town local weirdos won't leave him alone...

If you took a sixteen year old off of his Ritalin, got him high on weed, and

Words and Pictures (2013) PG-13

Clive Owen (Children of Men), Juliette Binoche (Chocolat)

Two teachers at a New England prep school get into a battle over words vs. pictures... but is it really about the arts?  Or their hearts?

Drunken poet Jack Marcus (Owen) is a stereotypical writer... published once long ago, but hasn't written a word in years.  Dina DelSanto (Binoche) is a celebrated NYC painter who has lost control of her body to rheumatoid

Dead Snow (2009) NR

Eight medical students on break decide to go to a remote cabin far up in the mountains where they discover a hidden cache of Nazi gold.  When they agree to keep it for themselves, the soldiers rise from their wintry graves and try to take it back.

This is in Norwegian, but it has English subtitles, so as a crafting movie this will suck unless you can knit without looking at your hands.  However, the

Done the Impossible (2006) TV-PG

Joss Whedon, Adam Baldwin, Alan Tudyk, Jewel Staite, Morena Baccarin, Ron Glass, and a whole mess of Browncoats.

Being a die-hard Browncoat, fan of Firefly, avid participant in the message boards (as Tilandra... hi guys!!) and the write-in campaign, I don't know why it took me so long to watch this documentary.  I suppose in a way it was because it's bittersweet... we got our

The Family (2013) R

Robert DeNiro (Stone), Michelle Pfeiffer (The Witches of Eastwick), Tommy Lee Jones (Volcano)

They're on the run from the mob and landed in Normandy.  This just goes to show that life in the witness protection program is not without its problems.  There are gossipy locals, weird food, and brown water coming from

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (2012) NR

 Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (2012) NR

Ed Quinn (Eureka), Stephen Rea (Crying Game)

A troupe of werewolf hunters travel from town to town, village to village, clearing out the beasts.  Their latest prey is different, however, and seems to retain the intelligence of a man in its wolf-form.  Can these hunters save the village from the thing that's terrorizing them?

Oof.  Most of the actors seem to be chosen for their looks or accent, rather than their acting ability.  The one actor from the Vancouver acting pool that I know and like, Quinn, is in it far too little to make up for the wooden performances of the rest.  There's about an hour of tired cliches, followed by some admittedly interesting twists, then more cliches and a rather idiotic ending clearly meant to invite sequels.

Other than the eyeroll count which was off the charts, there is very little to redeem this movie.  One of the hunters chasing after the local doctor's apprentice's girlfriend and attempting to rape her seemed to have no place in the plot except to set up a twist later.  There's a rather large brothel in a teeny, tiny village... I mean, it appeared to be the village's only industry.  Just weird, whacked out script from the first scene.

I gave it a generous two out of five stars.  I didn't *hate* it, but I would never ever watch this again.  I'd recommend it if you're about to take a nap, and the gunshots won't keep you awake, but that's about it.

Transcendence (2014) PG-13

Johnny Depp (Dark Shadows), Paul Bettany (Wimbeldon), Morgan Freeman (Lean on Me)

An A.I. researcher uploads his brain as he's dying and creates the first self-aware A.I. presence.  His widow and friends wonder though... is it really him, or is the copy dangerously flawed?

Equal parts Brainstorm, Continuum, and Lucy, this movie ended on a

Europa Report (2013) PG-13

Karolina Wydra (After), Daniel Wu (The Man With The Iron Fists), Christian Camargo (Hurt Locker)

A six-man team of astronauts travel to Jupiter's moon Europa to discover if a pocket of water beneath the ice's surface contains life.

Imagine if you will, watching forty-five minutes of the NASA channel, then a briefly exciting found-footage home movie, more NASA channel, and then finally about twenty minutes of the film "The Abyss".  That's what watching this film was like.  I nearly dozed off at one point.

Good Luck Chuck (2007) NR

Dane Cook (Employee of the Month), Jessica Alba (Paranoid)

Charlie (Cook), cursed at age 10 by a budding wiccan playing spin the bottle, is the lucky charm that helps every woman he sleeps with find her true love...

Stake Land (2010) R

Nick Damici (Late Phases), Connor Paolo (Favorite Son), Kelly McGillis (Top Gun)

In a dystopian future where vampires have decimated society, a taciturn hunter mentors a young boy through the wastelands of America trying to reach New Eden.

After enjoying Late Phases a lot, I really wanted to love Stake Land.   But this wasn't a vampire movie... they were just the excuse for the setting of the

Take Care (2014) NR

Recently hit by a car, Fran (Leslie Bibb, Iron Man) is struggling to take care of herself with only one working arm and one working leg.  She finally swallows her pride and calls her ex-boyfriend Devon (Thomas Sadoski, Loser) whom she took care of through his cancer, much to the dismay of his current girlfriend.

Swing Vote (2008) PG-13

Kevin Costner (The Postman), Kelsey Grammer (Frasier), Dennis Hopper (My Science Experiment), Nathan Lane (Birdcage)

A voting machine error and a close presidential race brings it down to one drunken single father's vote to decide it all.  The candidates have ten days to sway his decision.

I don't recall seeing anything about this the election year when it came out,

After (2012) PG-13

Steven Strait (Sky High) as Freddy, Karolina Wydra (Europa Report) as Ana.

After a bus crash, two strangers discover they're the only living souls in their home town.  As a menacing dark cloud closes in on them, they struggle to survive and find a way out.

Available only on Netflix so far, this suspense tale is based on a breakout hit novel from the indie author's platform Wattpad.  I have to admit that during

Late Phases (2014) NR

 Late Phases (2014) NR

 

Nick Damici (Stake Land), Ethan Embry (Pizza), and Tom Noonan (Last Action Hero) star in this tale of aging parents, fathers and sons, and werewolves.

Blind Vietnam war veteran Ambrose McKinley (Damici) moves into the retirement community of Crescent Bay.  When he's attacked his first night there, and realizes he's dealing with the supernatural, he knows he has a month to get ready.

I didn't really expect to like this film as much as I did.  While I love a good werewolf tale, they seem to be thin on the ground in recent years.   But if Grumpy Old Men and Silver Bullet had a baby, this would be it.  The one bad thing about this movie was the overall appearance of the creature... they looked like giant furry Gremlins.  However, they are not on the screen for very long, and the story is centered more around the human dynamic.

As a movie for makers, it's solid.  You can work your knitting needles while still following the story.  Three laugh out loud moments, and one Holy Crap moment in this film.  It's understated, but the tension is there.  I think if they'd paid a little less attention to the bitchy old women of the community and spent a little more time polishing the parts with his son and the priest, this would have been a five-star film.  As it is I give it a four out of five stars, and a hearty recommendation for your next Halloween or horror film night.

Queen (2014) NR

Dumped by her fiancee two days before her wedding, traditional Indian daughter Rani decides to go on her honeymoon alone, and discovers happiness again.

Mostly in English subtitled Hindi with some Italian, French, German, and

End Day (2005) NR

As a scientist travels from London to New York, we are shown four possible ways the Earth could end.

Mostly comprised of sensationalist drivel, End Day uses a "Groundhog Day" approach to illustrate

Apartment 143 (2011) R

A recently widowed father invites ghost experts into his apartment to explain the strange occurrences in his home.

Another movie about the paranormal told exclusively through the lenses of

Legally Blonde (2001) PG-13

Reese Witherspoon (This Means War) is sorority girl Elle trying to win back her former boyfriend.  He wants serious?  She's going to law school.  Harvard law school.

At first glance you might dismiss this movie as a typical fish-out-of-water romantic comedy with a ridiculous premise.  However goofy it appears on the surface though, Legally Blonde has a lot more depth and meaning to it

Tower Heist (2011) PG-13

A handful of employees from a ritzy Manhattan residential high-rise take back what's theirs by robbing one of the most unscrupulous residents.

You will see a lot of familiar faces in Tower Heist.  I merely rented it from Netflix because it's one of my favorite genres, but as I watched the names go

Brick Mansions (2014) PG-13

Paul Walker, RZA, David Belle - An undercover vice cop enters Detroit's Brick Mansions district to avenge his father and take down a dangerous drug kingpin.

I swear, I did not go looking for another RZA film, nor did I realize this was

A Fantastic Fear of Everything (2012)

Simon Pegg stars as J.B. "Jack" Knife, children's author, who becomes frightfully paranoid after trying to write a book about serial killers.  It seems with good reason...

This movie is not for everyone.  In parts it's a deeply atmospheric thriller/mystery, yet it inexplicably changes in parts to a comedy of tragic

The Man With The Iron Fists (2012) R

A transplanted blacksmith in a tiny Chinese village is caught between clans in this "wire-fu" movie.

Presented by Quentin Tarantino and directed by rapper RZA, this is a gore-fest of a movie.  I was led to believe ahead of time that this would be horribly violent, but in reality the blood and mayhem was so unrealistic to a comical

Stellina Blue (2009)

A young woman shot in a convenience store robbery survives after a month-long coma and multiple near-deaths.  When she recovers she passes on her miracle to others.

If I had to sum up my experience watching Stellina Blue in one sentence, I'd say it's as if a romantic drama and a high school educational film had a baby.

One Small Hitch (2013)

Josh and Molly create a fake engagement to make a dying man happy... but what happens when the feelings become real?

One Small Hitch is an uncommon thing these days... a rom-com that doesn't ruin the romance with gross-out humor, vulgar behavior for the sake of humor, or random oddball plot points so that it can be called quirky. It's just

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio (2005) PG-13

Julianne Moore (Evolution) stars as the under-appreciated housewife who fully embraces the 1960's "contesting" craze and manages to keep her family of ten kids afloat through hard times.

The thought that I was struck by the most while watching this film is that the more things change, the more they stay the same.  While it's true that women can work outside the home these days, and it's

Flypaper (2011)

Two gangs try to rob the same bank on the same night, and an FBI agent ends up dead... but is there more to the story?

On the surface, Flypaper looks like a typical heist movie.  There is a full cast of people you'll recognize from Star Trek, Red Band Society, Constantine, and Grey's Anatomy.  Underneath, however, this is more of a murder-mystery, with an OCD Sherlock Holmes in the form of Tripp (Patrick Dempsey,