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Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Playback (2012) R

Johnny Pacar (The Remaining), Christian Slater (Without Men), Ambyr Childers (We Are What We Are)

A journalism student uncovers a grisly, horrifying secret when he digs into a bloody local murder from fifteen years ago.  Worst of all, the videotape footage from the first reporters on the scene seem to have taken on a life of its own.

This film starts with shaky "found footage" of the original murders, taken by the killer's

Monday, July 20, 2015

Headhunters (2011) R

Nickolaj Coster-Waldau (Game of Thrones), Aksel Hennie (Pioneer)

A corporate headhunter steals art from his clients to maintain his expensive lifestyle... but did he just steal a painting from the wrong man?

I don't know why, but having seen quite a bit of Norwegian and Scandanavian TV and film (for an American) I can honestly say I always come away from it both entertained,

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Vanishing On 7th Street (2010) R

John Leguizamo (Chef), Hayden Christensen (Jumper), Thandie Newton (Retreat)

Detroit becomes darker than usual when the shadows can cause you to vanish.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

The Search for General Tso (2014)

Have you ever gone to a Chinese restaurant and wondered just who General Tso was, and why nearly every Chinese restaurant serves his chicken?  This documentary attempts to answer that question.

This turned out to be a cute, rather short documentary on the history of Chinese cuisine in America, with a side trip to the Hunan province of China.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The Internship (2013) PG-13

Vince Vaughn (The Breakup), Owen Wilson (Shanghai Noon)

Best friends and super-sales partners for a watch manufacturer find themselves suddenly without a job.  Can they leave their old-guy ways behind them and fit in with the twenty-something tech crowd at Google?

Part fish-out-of-water comedy, part super-ad for Google services, this actually turned out

Monday, July 13, 2015

Let's Be Cops (2014)

James D'Arcy (Screwed), Jake Johnson (Safety Not Guaranteed), Damon Wayans Jr. (Dance Flick)

Two struggling best friends in L.A. wear cop outfits to an out-of-season costume party and get mistaken for real police officers.  They're having fun with it until bad guys start messing with their neighborhood, and it becomes an all-out war where they may have to put their lives on the line.

With a second-generation Wayans and the doofy guy from New Girl, I expected this to be slightly funny, really crude, with very little redeemable value.  I was pleasantly surprised. 

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead (2010)

A documentary about one Australian's trip across the US while doing a juice fast to reboot his declining health.

Ever since I was a kid, I've heard the saying that "you are what you eat", and that is certainly true.  Your body can't pull the nutrients it needs out of thin air through your

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Sharknado (2012) TV-14

Tara Reid (American Pie), Ian Ziering (Guiding Light)

A freak hurricane off the coast of California starts flooding L.A. and dumping sharks into the streets. 

A perfect movie for those folks who are looking for films that are so bad, they're good. 

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Tracers (2014) PG-13

Taylor Lautner (The Twilight Saga: New Moon),  Adam Rayner (The Task), Marie Avgeropoulos (The 100)

An over-extended bike messenger is intrigued when a pretty parkour expert wrecks his bike and buys him a new one.  After tracking her down he finds himself caught up in a world of crime and can't see a way out.

Monday, July 6, 2015

The Maze Runner (2014) PG-13

Will Poulter (We're the Millers), Dexter Darden (Joyful Noise), Aml Ameen (Kidulthood)

In a dystopian future, kids are dumped into a green glade with no memory except their name.  Surrounded by a gigantic cement and metal maze that seems to be their only way out, a small group of boys navigate its ever-changing landscape daily while avoiding the guardians that patrol it.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Storage 24 (2012) R

Noel Clarke (Star Trek: Into Darkness), Colin O'Donoghue (The Rite)

Charlie (Clarke) and Shelley, in the middle of dividing their belongings in a storage unit after breaking up, find themselves trapped in the secured building with their friends, the employees, and an alien from a crashed military plane.

Beyond the joy of seeing Noel Clarke, a.k.a. Mickey from Doctor Who, still working, I thoroughly enjoyed this film.  That is not to say it didn't have its odd moments.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Finding Normal (2013)

Candace Cameron Bure (Full House), Lou Beatty Jr. (Fast & Furious), Trevor St John (Payback)

An LA doctor is caught speeding through a tiny town in North Carolina and sentenced to three days community service for unpaid parking tickets, but the local judge/doctor

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Space Station 76 (2014)

Liv Tyler (Armageddon), Matt Bomer (White Collar), Patrick Wilson (Hard Candy)

Life is like the swinging '70s aboard Space Station 76... a refueling station that is moving (for some unknown reason) through the stars.  The arrival of a new, female XO (Tyler) seems to shake things up, and not in a good way.

Monday, June 29, 2015

The Darkest Hour (2011)

Emile Hirsch (The Motel Life), Olivia Thirlby (The Secret), Max Minghella (The Internship)

Three American and one Australian twenty-something tourists are checking out the Russian nightclub scene when semi-invisible aliens descend on the planet and start vaporizing every human they can find.

With special effects reminiscent of Blade, this is a combination of fish-out-

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Much Ado About Nothing (2013)

Amy Acker (Angel), Alexis Denisof (Grimm), Nathan Fillion (Castle)

Joss Whedon's adaptation of the Shakespeare play.

I love it when an adaptation makes Shakespeare more accessible to the general public, and I think this one does... especially because of the acting by Acker and Denisof.  Even if you don't understand every phrase, their actions and expressions make the story clear and fun.

Joss worked in some physical comedy, too, and that can't hurt.

If you're familiar with Joss Whedon's previous work, you will see a ton of familiar faces from Buffy, Dollhouse, Firefly, and even Agents of SHIELD.  Set in a contemporary setting, but with the traditional language, this is not a good film for crafters, however.  Unless you're an English major, seeing their expressions is a must if you want to understand what's going on. 

Six laugh out loud moments, particularly during the scenes when the family is trying to match-make Benedick and Beatrice.  Otherwise, no counts.  I did not attempt to knit during this, even though it's my second viewing, because I enjoy the performances so much, with a few exceptions that can be easily overlooked.

Though some prefer the Kenneth Branagh version, if you enjoy Shakespeare, definitely give this a shot. 

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Cat Run (2011) R

 Paz Vega (Carmen), Janet McTeer (Songcatcher), Alphonso McAuley (Breaking In), Scott Mechlowicz (Gone)

When an east European hooker finds herself at a party where everyone is killed, she goes on the run with a video-surveillance hard drive that may or may not keep her alive.  She steals a car from a pair of would-be detectives, and now everyone is just trying to stay one step ahead of the hired guns who are out for blood.

This movie is a mixed up bag of styles that shouldn't work... but somehow does.  I will

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Sex Tape (2014) R

Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother), Cameron Diaz (Charlie's Angels)

A married couple get a night without the kids, and to celebrate they make a video of themselves having sex.  Trouble is they didn't know it would autosynch to the cloud.  Now it's out there, and they have to try and get it back before it ruins her career and his life.  Cuz if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Okay, you do not want to watch this if the F word is a problem for you.  Just don't even

Monday, June 22, 2015

Ted (2012) R

Mila Kunis (Friends With Benefits), Mark Wahlberg (Contraband), Seth MacFarlane (A Million Ways to Die in the West)

What if a young boy's Christmas wish that his teddy bear came to life actually came true?  And what would their lives be like twenty-five years later?

I'll be totally honest, I did not want to like this film.  I am not a fan of crude

Thursday, June 18, 2015

The Uninvited (2009) PG-13

Emily Browning (Sucker Punch), David Strathairn (Alphas), Elizabeth Banks (Man On A Ledge), Arielle Kebbel (Daydreamer)

Hospitalized after the death of her ill mother in a house fire, Anna (Browning) returns home to find that her mother's in-home nurse is now dating her father.  With no memory of that night, she is haunted by ghostly events and she fears that Rachael (Banks) may have been responsible for the tragedy.

A remake of a Japanese film (A Tale of Two Sisters), I can't help but feel I'm

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

The Bag Man (2014) R

John Cusack (Identity), Robert DeNiro (Cape Fear), Dominic Purcell (Assault on Wall Street)

A hitman, Jack, (Cusack) is tasked by his boss Dragna (DeNiro) to pick up a bag and deliver it to a motel in the middle of the Louisiana bayou.  His instructions?  Wait in room thirteen, and don't look in the bag.  The problem is the small town local weirdos won't leave him alone...

If you took a sixteen year old off of his Ritalin, got him high on weed, and

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Words and Pictures (2013) PG-13

Clive Owen (Children of Men), Juliette Binoche (Chocolat)

Two teachers at a New England prep school get into a battle over words vs. pictures... but is it really about the arts?  Or their hearts?

Drunken poet Jack Marcus (Owen) is a stereotypical writer... published once long ago, but hasn't written a word in years.  Dina DelSanto (Binoche) is a celebrated NYC painter who has lost control of her body to rheumatoid

Monday, June 15, 2015

Dead Snow (2009) NR

Eight medical students on break decide to go to a remote cabin far up in the mountains where they discover a hidden cache of Nazi gold.  When they agree to keep it for themselves, the soldiers rise from their wintry graves and try to take it back.

This is in Norwegian, but it has English subtitles, so as a crafting movie this will suck unless you can knit without looking at your hands.  However, the

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Done the Impossible (2006) TV-PG

Joss Whedon, Adam Baldwin, Alan Tudyk, Jewel Staite, Morena Baccarin, Ron Glass, and a whole mess of Browncoats.

Being a die-hard Browncoat, fan of Firefly, avid participant in the message boards (as Tilandra... hi guys!!) and the write-in campaign, I don't know why it took me so long to watch this documentary.  I suppose in a way it was because it's bittersweet... we got our

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

The Family (2013) R

Robert DeNiro (Stone), Michelle Pfeiffer (The Witches of Eastwick), Tommy Lee Jones (Volcano)

They're on the run from the mob and landed in Normandy.  This just goes to show that life in the witness protection program is not without its problems.  There are gossipy locals, weird food, and brown water coming from

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (2012) NR

 Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (2012) NR

Ed Quinn (Eureka), Stephen Rea (Crying Game)

A troupe of werewolf hunters travel from town to town, village to village, clearing out the beasts.  Their latest prey is different, however, and seems to retain the intelligence of a man in its wolf-form.  Can these hunters save the village from the thing that's terrorizing them?

Oof.  Most of the actors seem to be chosen for their looks or accent, rather than their acting ability.  The one actor from the Vancouver acting pool that I know and like, Quinn, is in it far too little to make up for the wooden performances of the rest.  There's about an hour of tired cliches, followed by some admittedly interesting twists, then more cliches and a rather idiotic ending clearly meant to invite sequels.

Other than the eyeroll count which was off the charts, there is very little to redeem this movie.  One of the hunters chasing after the local doctor's apprentice's girlfriend and attempting to rape her seemed to have no place in the plot except to set up a twist later.  There's a rather large brothel in a teeny, tiny village... I mean, it appeared to be the village's only industry.  Just weird, whacked out script from the first scene.

I gave it a generous two out of five stars.  I didn't *hate* it, but I would never ever watch this again.  I'd recommend it if you're about to take a nap, and the gunshots won't keep you awake, but that's about it.


Monday, June 8, 2015

Transcendence (2014) PG-13

Johnny Depp (Dark Shadows), Paul Bettany (Wimbeldon), Morgan Freeman (Lean on Me)

An A.I. researcher uploads his brain as he's dying and creates the first self-aware A.I. presence.  His widow and friends wonder though... is it really him, or is the copy dangerously flawed?

Equal parts Brainstorm, Continuum, and Lucy, this movie ended on a

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Europa Report (2013) PG-13

Karolina Wydra (After), Daniel Wu (The Man With The Iron Fists), Christian Camargo (Hurt Locker)

A six-man team of astronauts travel to Jupiter's moon Europa to discover if a pocket of water beneath the ice's surface contains life.

Imagine if you will, watching forty-five minutes of the NASA channel, then a briefly exciting found-footage home movie, more NASA channel, and then finally about twenty minutes of the film "The Abyss".  That's what watching this film was like.  I nearly dozed off at one point.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Good Luck Chuck (2007) NR

Dane Cook (Employee of the Month), Jessica Alba (Paranoid)

Charlie (Cook), cursed at age 10 by a budding wiccan playing spin the bottle, is the lucky charm that helps every woman he sleeps with find her true love...

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Stake Land (2010) R

Nick Damici (Late Phases), Connor Paolo (Favorite Son), Kelly McGillis (Top Gun)

In a dystopian future where vampires have decimated society, a taciturn hunter mentors a young boy through the wastelands of America trying to reach New Eden.

After enjoying Late Phases a lot, I really wanted to love Stake Land.   But this wasn't a vampire movie... they were just the excuse for the setting of the

Monday, June 1, 2015

Take Care (2014) NR

Recently hit by a car, Fran (Leslie Bibb, Iron Man) is struggling to take care of herself with only one working arm and one working leg.  She finally swallows her pride and calls her ex-boyfriend Devon (Thomas Sadoski, Loser) whom she took care of through his cancer, much to the dismay of his current girlfriend.