I Hate Valentine's Day (2010) PG-13

 

Available on Netflix and Amazon Instant Video, "I Hate Valentine's Day" is a romantic comedy filled with awkward.

Genevieve (Nia Vardalos) is a 30-something florist who has a simple policy:  Five dates and move on.  Then she meets former-lawyer-turned-Tapas-bar-owner Greg (John Corbett) and her policy doesn't work for her anymore.

This pair of actors, previously seen together in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding",

meander through this movie in a strange, wooden fashion.  I wanted to believe that Vardalos' robotic recitation of the five dates policy was setting us up for her eventual melting into real, warm romance later, but it just never happens.  She has zero warmth.  The only believable point is her meltdown over Valentine's day, and then she's a sobbing or crabby wreck.

I did laugh out loud eight times during this viewing... once for physical comedy, the rest for decently-timed and written lines.  It is not without its humor.  But the "Awww..." factor is not there.  I never feel like Greg is a real character to root for.  His best friend is obnoxious and off-putting, and adds no value to the movie dynamic except to be the catalyst for a "fight" between the would-be couple.  He got better advice from a random woman walking her dog.  And the brief conversation between Genevieve and her father never really seemed like it explained her caution over relationships.  It seemed more like a prop thrown in at the last minute to explain why she's being difficult than being a true motivator.

And why does a guy with a Tapas restaurant need to go to a bagel place for lunch?

Overall I give this movie a two out of five.  Good for background knitting noise, but not something you'd drop the needles for.