Holy cow, I could barely muster enough enthusiasm to write this review.
A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take all of our gold. A group of locals is all that stands in their way.
Jake Lonnergan (Daniel Craig, Casino Royale) wakes up in the desert with a strange wristband on his arm and no memories. After some typical wild-west hazards, he stumbles into the nearest town. There's a town bully, the local preacher, a lawman, and the rest of your Western stereotypes.
Really, I don't want to describe the movie any more. For it to make sense, I would have to go into way too much detail for such a blah movie.
Imagine the driest, most boring western you've ever watched. Imagine watching that for an hour before apparently even the writer got bored and started throwing in the aliens. It picks up for a while, gets boring again, then picks up at the climax before falling back into blahs-ville.
Not even Craig, Harrison Ford, Clancy Brown, or Sam Rockwell could save this thing. Even Thirteen from "House" and Cletus Van Damme from "The Shield" were in it. You'd think with all of these proven actors, it would resemble at least something partially interesting. It did not.
There was definitely nothing to laugh at in this movie. It was very, very Serious Business. Capital S, Capital B. I did drop my needlework twice... once during the very first fight, and once right at the end in the gold smelting room.
The rest of the time I worked right through it and barely listened at all. So in that sense it's a great movie for crafting. You definitely won't get distracted.
As a piece of entertainment, though, I give it a two out of five. It just took too long to get down to the sci-fi. Catch it on Netflix if you need background noise. If you're looking for a cheap gift for someone, the Blu-ray is under $10 bucks. I just don't know if I want it in my collection.
A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take all of our gold. A group of locals is all that stands in their way.
Jake Lonnergan (Daniel Craig, Casino Royale) wakes up in the desert with a strange wristband on his arm and no memories. After some typical wild-west hazards, he stumbles into the nearest town. There's a town bully, the local preacher, a lawman, and the rest of your Western stereotypes.
Really, I don't want to describe the movie any more. For it to make sense, I would have to go into way too much detail for such a blah movie.
Imagine the driest, most boring western you've ever watched. Imagine watching that for an hour before apparently even the writer got bored and started throwing in the aliens. It picks up for a while, gets boring again, then picks up at the climax before falling back into blahs-ville.
Not even Craig, Harrison Ford, Clancy Brown, or Sam Rockwell could save this thing. Even Thirteen from "House" and Cletus Van Damme from "The Shield" were in it. You'd think with all of these proven actors, it would resemble at least something partially interesting. It did not.
There was definitely nothing to laugh at in this movie. It was very, very Serious Business. Capital S, Capital B. I did drop my needlework twice... once during the very first fight, and once right at the end in the gold smelting room.
The rest of the time I worked right through it and barely listened at all. So in that sense it's a great movie for crafting. You definitely won't get distracted.
As a piece of entertainment, though, I give it a two out of five. It just took too long to get down to the sci-fi. Catch it on Netflix if you need background noise. If you're looking for a cheap gift for someone, the Blu-ray is under $10 bucks. I just don't know if I want it in my collection.
