Hiatus 9/2015

This movie review site will be going on a temporary hiatus until such time as I can find an internet provider out here in the boondocks that doesn't have the annoying tendency to cut out on me for days at a time.  While there are rumors (and big spools of cabling on the side of the road to back it up) of a fiber optic network being laid in our neighborhood, there is no telling how long this will take.  For now, I am on satellite and it sucks.

When it comes to my writing I prefer to have a routine, and when I cannot rely on my infrastructure to maintain that routine, it becomes a lot less fun for me.  I was trying to buffer their unreliability by scheduling posts ahead of time, but my margin got consumed by their latest outage.

I'll be back when the situation changes.

Cockneys vs. Zombies (2012) NR

Cockneys vs. Zombies (2012) NR 

Michelle Ryan (Bionic Woman), Harry Treadaway (Honeymoon), Alan Ford (Snatch)

A pair of bumbling brothers decide to rob a bank when the old-age home their grandfather who raised them is living in goes into arrears.  What could go wrong?  Try the zombie apocalypse.

The Breakfast Club (1985) R

Judd Nelson (Empire), Ally Sheedy (Short Circuit), Emilio Estevez(Freejack), Anthony Michael Hall (The Dark Knight), Molly Ringwald (Bad Night)

Five students spend a Saturday in the school library while serving detention.

And voted most changed in class is Anthony Michael Hall... who would have predicted what a beefy hunk he'd grow up to be?

Bad Hair Day (2015) TV-G

 Bad Hair Day (2015) TV-G

Laura Marano (Superbad), Leigh-Allyn Baker (Little Savages)

Disgraced cop Liz Morgan (Baker) and desperate-to-be-prom-queen senior Monica (Marano) discover they have to work together to foil the plans of a sneering jewel thief on prom night.

Battle Royale (2000) NR

Kateshi Kitano (Johnny Mnemonic)

In a fictional Japanese future, forty-two eighth grade students are drugged and dropped off on a remote island under the BR act to fight to the death until only one remains.

School of Rock (2003) PG-13

Jack Black (Nacho Libre), Joan Cusack (In & Out)

Rock band slacker Dewey (Black) is desperate for cash when a local prep school calls his roommate for a substitute teaching gig, so he takes his place.  The only problem is all he knows how to do is rock...

John Mullaney: New In Town (2012) NR

My daughter plays a Japanese import game whose online community has a meme about John Mullaney, and apparently they have plagiarized 90% of this standup act in the process.  It's very difficult to review something on its entertainment merits when you have a seventeen year old shouting "Oh!  It's this one!" and quoting the entire thing, verbatim.

Despite this, and the cheesey 80's sitcom-style intro and outtro, this was a cute little standup routine. 

The Decoy Bride (2011) PG

David Tennant (Fright Night), Kelly Macdonald (Brave), James Fleet (Outlander (series))

When a Hollywood starlet is looking for a remote location away from the papparazzi
to have her wedding and chooses a tiny island of the Hebrides, things go awry when the press follows her anyway.

This movie isn't really about the bride.

A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night (2014) NR

A dismal oil town gets even worse when a young vampire girl starts wandering the streets at night.

If "Near Dark" and "Requiem For A Dream" went on vacation in 1950's Paris, got pregnant and had the baby at home somewhere in the middle east, this movie would be that baby.

Atmospheric black and white in Persian with subtitles, it was depressing and dark.  Maybe I would have understood some of the nuances a little better if I was more familiar with the culture, but I did find the visual comparison between the traditional vampire cloak and a woman's hijab interesting.

There is a trench on the edge of town filled with corpses.  And clearly, there are no police.  There are vast class differences, yet they all seem to party together.

If you prefer to slowly experience a world as conceived by the director through tone and ambiance, then you will enjoy this film.  Unfortunately I found it too slowly paced and slightly boring.  As a film for knitters, you might be okay... even with the subtitles, it is long-paced enough that you will have ample stretches of time to stitch while waiting for dialogue.


As for my usual  counts, there was only one eye roll moment at the drug dealer and his stereotypical bachelor pad.  Where does he go hunting for animal head trophies, exactly?

Don't take offense if you loved this film... I am the same way with books.  I hate exposition and prefer lots of dialogue.  Subtle looks and smoke-filled rooms only take me so far.  If I can't tell what a character wants, and how it's trying to achieve it even when the film is almost over, then I'm not happy.

I gave this movie three out of five stars.  I don't need my vampires to move fast for me to enjoy the film, but I found this girl to be a complete mystery right up until the end, and that bothered me.  Perhaps you'll like her better.

Kill Me Three Times (2014) R

Simon Pegg (Paul), Bryan Brown (F/X), Alice Braga (Elysium), Teresa Palmer (I Am Number Four)

A killer for hire gets caught up in multiple threads of revenge and betrayal in this black comedy.

By the time you finish watching this film, you will have watched parts of it four times.  It jumps around to different viewpoints, adding different details, culminating in a predictable happy (ish) ending and a bad punchline.

The Mirror (2014) NR

Jemma Dallender (I Spit On Your Grave 2), Joshua Dickinson (Holby City), Nate Fallows (Viking Quest)

Three flatmates buy a purportedly haunted mirror on eBay with the goal of proving the existence of the paranormal for a million dollar cash prize.

Bill Burr: I'm Sorry You Feel That Way (2014) NR

A Netflix original.

Standup comedian Bill Burr covers a lot of hilarious territory, including sex, religion, parenting, gun ownership, adoption, and marriage.

American Sniper (2014) R

Bradley Cooper (Hangover, Limitless), Sienna Miller (Interview (2007))

The biographical tale of Chris Kyle, legendary sniper from Desert Storm.

Tactical Force (2011) R

Steve Austin (The Expendables), Michael Shanks (Elysium, Stargate SG1), Lexa Doig (Continuum, Andromeda), Steve Bacic (The 6th Day, Supernatural)

A disgraced S.W.A.T. team on disciplinary training maneuvers ends up in the middle of a gangster shootout over a hidden item with nothing but training rounds and their wits.

Hellgate (2010) NR

Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride), William Hurt (Altered States)

A businessman and his family get in a car accident on a trip to Thailand.  When he awakes from a coma to find his family dead, he discovers he can see ghosts.

The Phoenix Project (2015) NR

Corey Rieger (Out of the Furnace), Andrew Simpson (Heathens and Thieves), David Pesta (Creed), Orson Ossman (Life Inside Out)

Four young scientists come together to work on a machine that could possibly re-animate the dead.

They Live (1988) R

Roddy Piper (Hell Comes to Frogtown), Keith David (Platoon), Meg Foster (Masters of the Universe)

A drifter looking for work finds a place in a homeless camp on the outskirts of town.  When he finds a unique pair of sunglasses that reveals aliens all around him, he decides there's more to life than just surviving.

The Reunion (2011) PG-13

John Cena (The Marine), Ethan Embry(Late Phases), Boyd Holbrook(Gone Girl)

Three half-brothers are brought together by their father's will which stipulates that they have to work together to receive their inheritance.  Their idea for a family business?  Tracking down a kidnapped Wall Street tycoon for the reward money.

TED Talks: Chew On This (2011)

Various food, sustainability, and nutrition experts in a series of TED talks about humans' most basic need... the food we eat.

If you're not familiar with TED talks, then this review might go right over your head, but basically this Netflix collection is a series of lectures by experts.  They are almost always thought-provoking or amusing or both.  This series of fourteen lectures of varying lengths center around food... what we eat, how we eat it, how we produce it, and/or our relationship with it.

It's probably no secret that one of my passions is a belief that we need to return to a more simple, less processed way of preparing and eating our food.  I think that the phasing out of teaching Home Ec in schools, particularly the kitchen and sewing sections, was a death-blow to our children.  I once had a male friend I met online admit to me that he spent over $2,000 a month eating out because he didn't know how to cook.  For someone who doesn't even make that much money a month, I found that figure to be staggering.  And the economics of it isn't even the worst part.

The top three disease killers in America are completely preventable through dietary changes.

I won't go into the details of all the lectures here.  They can say it far better than I can.  But if you're a crafter who likes to have something thought-provoking and informative to listen to while you're knitting or whatever, this series is perfect for that, and you can concentrate your vision on your work while listening.

I highly recommend this series.  Even if you have no interest in cooking for yourself, improving the environment or the biodiversity of our ecosystem, the idea of how interconnected the way we live our lives is with the health and welfare of ourselves and others is an idea worth listening to.

Give it a try.

Alien Outpost (2014) NR

Douglas Tait (Jack the Reaper), Adrian Paul (Highlander), Joe Reegan (The Crazies)

In 2021 the Earth was invaded by aliens we called "heavies" but we pushed most of them out.  Ten years later, remote outposts established by the United Space Defense Force are there to clean up the last of the enemy stragglers, but they are underfunded and forgotten.

Shot in an after-the-fact hand-held documentary style, you will either love or hate this movie.  As a veteran of the first Desert Storm conflict, I find that military-themed

Ender's Game (2013) PG-13

Asa Butterfield (The Wolfman), Harrison Ford (Blade Runner), Ben Kingsley (Gandhi)

In a future where aliens have attempted to invade Earth, humans use the flexible minds of children to find the next great military commander who will save our species from the next attack.

Based on the series of books by Orson Scott Card (this being the first of four books in one quartet, with further series after), this movie takes a complex novel and attempts to condense it down into a manageable chunk for Hollywood standards.  It succeeds in some ways, and does not in others... much the way my one-sentence synopsis of the movie fails to capture all the nuances of the movie.  It's about how we treat our soldiers, it's about leadership, it's about family, and duty... far too complex to condense down to 114 minutes and include everything.

As entertainment, this movie works but feels understandably rushed.  They had to condense years of battle training down or risk creating a mini-series of just the first book.  And as tired as I am by movies populated with children, in this film it was required by the script, and thus forgivable.

The CGI effects during battle sequences are gorgeous, yet the animation during the storybook game sequence was terrible... probably due to the "uncanny valley".  The actors were all amazing, even those whose appearance onscreen was almost far too brief to do the character justice.

As a movie for crafters, this is semi-okay, depending on your project and your level of concentration.  Subtle facial expression and battle nuances will be missed if you're not paying attention.  It will not affect your ability to follow the story, but it may affect your appreciation of the film as a whole, as only listening to it may make it feel very flat.

Three laugh out loud moments for me, and that's it.  Possibly any surprise or shock value at events or the ending were ruined for me by reading the book first.  Knowing what I did going in, there was very little to make me exclaim out loud, and I'm working a very basic stockinette stitch on a pair of mittens, so I can work those without dropping the needles to concentrate.

Ultimately, I give this a four out of five stars.  There's just too much material, and too many nuances for this to be condensed down for this adaptation.  It's no-one's fault really, except maybe Card's for creating such a complex piece of writing that defies Hollywood standards... and that's not a bad thing at all.  This is good for a family movie night if you want to get a little knitting done yet still appease the sci-fi fans in the family, but the book is better, and I'd recommend the audio Whispersynch version if you want to try that for your Kindle.

  

Vegucated (2010) NR

A vegan filmmaker takes three self-proclaimed hard-core carnivores and documents them completing the challenge of going vegan for six weeks.

To be honest, I went into this documentary thinking it would be a slightly-preachy food documentary along the lines of "Super-size Me" where we'd see people eating three meals a day and how they dealt with it.  That's not what I got.  This was a very depressing thing to watch first thing in the morning.

The Numbers Station (2013) R

John Cusack (1408), Malin Akerman (Catch .44)

A tired CIA field agent is given a last-chance assignment to protect a numbers station in a remote part of England.  When the station comes under siege, can his talent and her brains find them a way out alive?

Slightly atmospheric but not terribly sexy, this spy thriller is a perfect vehicle for Cusack.  What does it say about a guy who is consistently typecast as either the lovable everyman in High Fidelity or the hitman with a heart in Grosse Pointe Blank?  What does that say about us, the viewing public, who will accept him as either type?

Playback (2012) R

Johnny Pacar (The Remaining), Christian Slater (Without Men), Ambyr Childers (We Are What We Are)

A journalism student uncovers a grisly, horrifying secret when he digs into a bloody local murder from fifteen years ago.  Worst of all, the videotape footage from the first reporters on the scene seem to have taken on a life of its own.

This film starts with shaky "found footage" of the original murders, taken by the killer's

Headhunters (2011) R

Nickolaj Coster-Waldau (Game of Thrones), Aksel Hennie (Pioneer)

A corporate headhunter steals art from his clients to maintain his expensive lifestyle... but did he just steal a painting from the wrong man?

I don't know why, but having seen quite a bit of Norwegian and Scandanavian TV and film (for an American) I can honestly say I always come away from it both entertained,

Vanishing On 7th Street (2010) R

John Leguizamo (Chef), Hayden Christensen (Jumper), Thandie Newton (Retreat)

Detroit becomes darker than usual when the shadows can cause you to vanish.

The Search for General Tso (2014)

Have you ever gone to a Chinese restaurant and wondered just who General Tso was, and why nearly every Chinese restaurant serves his chicken?  This documentary attempts to answer that question.

This turned out to be a cute, rather short documentary on the history of Chinese cuisine in America, with a side trip to the Hunan province of China.

The Internship (2013) PG-13

Vince Vaughn (The Breakup), Owen Wilson (Shanghai Noon)

Best friends and super-sales partners for a watch manufacturer find themselves suddenly without a job.  Can they leave their old-guy ways behind them and fit in with the twenty-something tech crowd at Google?

Part fish-out-of-water comedy, part super-ad for Google services, this actually turned out

Let's Be Cops (2014)

James D'Arcy (Screwed), Jake Johnson (Safety Not Guaranteed), Damon Wayans Jr. (Dance Flick)

Two struggling best friends in L.A. wear cop outfits to an out-of-season costume party and get mistaken for real police officers.  They're having fun with it until bad guys start messing with their neighborhood, and it becomes an all-out war where they may have to put their lives on the line.

With a second-generation Wayans and the doofy guy from New Girl, I expected this to be slightly funny, really crude, with very little redeemable value.  I was pleasantly surprised. 

Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead (2010)

A documentary about one Australian's trip across the US while doing a juice fast to reboot his declining health.

Ever since I was a kid, I've heard the saying that "you are what you eat", and that is certainly true.  Your body can't pull the nutrients it needs out of thin air through your

Sharknado (2012) TV-14

Tara Reid (American Pie), Ian Ziering (Guiding Light)

A freak hurricane off the coast of California starts flooding L.A. and dumping sharks into the streets. 

A perfect movie for those folks who are looking for films that are so bad, they're good. 

Tracers (2014) PG-13

Taylor Lautner (The Twilight Saga: New Moon),  Adam Rayner (The Task), Marie Avgeropoulos (The 100)

An over-extended bike messenger is intrigued when a pretty parkour expert wrecks his bike and buys him a new one.  After tracking her down he finds himself caught up in a world of crime and can't see a way out.

The Maze Runner (2014) PG-13

Will Poulter (We're the Millers), Dexter Darden (Joyful Noise), Aml Ameen (Kidulthood)

In a dystopian future, kids are dumped into a green glade with no memory except their name.  Surrounded by a gigantic cement and metal maze that seems to be their only way out, a small group of boys navigate its ever-changing landscape daily while avoiding the guardians that patrol it.

Storage 24 (2012) R

Noel Clarke (Star Trek: Into Darkness), Colin O'Donoghue (The Rite)

Charlie (Clarke) and Shelley, in the middle of dividing their belongings in a storage unit after breaking up, find themselves trapped in the secured building with their friends, the employees, and an alien from a crashed military plane.

Beyond the joy of seeing Noel Clarke, a.k.a. Mickey from Doctor Who, still working, I thoroughly enjoyed this film.  That is not to say it didn't have its odd moments.

Finding Normal (2013)

Candace Cameron Bure (Full House), Lou Beatty Jr. (Fast & Furious), Trevor St John (Payback)

An LA doctor is caught speeding through a tiny town in North Carolina and sentenced to three days community service for unpaid parking tickets, but the local judge/doctor

Space Station 76 (2014)

Liv Tyler (Armageddon), Matt Bomer (White Collar), Patrick Wilson (Hard Candy)

Life is like the swinging '70s aboard Space Station 76... a refueling station that is moving (for some unknown reason) through the stars.  The arrival of a new, female XO (Tyler) seems to shake things up, and not in a good way.

The Darkest Hour (2011)

Emile Hirsch (The Motel Life), Olivia Thirlby (The Secret), Max Minghella (The Internship)

Three American and one Australian twenty-something tourists are checking out the Russian nightclub scene when semi-invisible aliens descend on the planet and start vaporizing every human they can find.

With special effects reminiscent of Blade, this is a combination of fish-out-

Much Ado About Nothing (2013)

Amy Acker (Angel), Alexis Denisof (Grimm), Nathan Fillion (Castle)

Joss Whedon's adaptation of the Shakespeare play.

I love it when an adaptation makes Shakespeare more accessible to the general public, and I think this one does... especially because of the acting by Acker and Denisof.  Even if you don't understand every phrase, their actions and expressions make the story clear and fun.

Joss worked in some physical comedy, too, and that can't hurt.

If you're familiar with Joss Whedon's previous work, you will see a ton of familiar faces from Buffy, Dollhouse, Firefly, and even Agents of SHIELD.  Set in a contemporary setting, but with the traditional language, this is not a good film for crafters, however.  Unless you're an English major, seeing their expressions is a must if you want to understand what's going on. 

Six laugh out loud moments, particularly during the scenes when the family is trying to match-make Benedick and Beatrice.  Otherwise, no counts.  I did not attempt to knit during this, even though it's my second viewing, because I enjoy the performances so much, with a few exceptions that can be easily overlooked.

Though some prefer the Kenneth Branagh version, if you enjoy Shakespeare, definitely give this a shot. 

Cat Run (2011) R

 Paz Vega (Carmen), Janet McTeer (Songcatcher), Alphonso McAuley (Breaking In), Scott Mechlowicz (Gone)

When an east European hooker finds herself at a party where everyone is killed, she goes on the run with a video-surveillance hard drive that may or may not keep her alive.  She steals a car from a pair of would-be detectives, and now everyone is just trying to stay one step ahead of the hired guns who are out for blood.

This movie is a mixed up bag of styles that shouldn't work... but somehow does.  I will

Sex Tape (2014) R

Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother), Cameron Diaz (Charlie's Angels)

A married couple get a night without the kids, and to celebrate they make a video of themselves having sex.  Trouble is they didn't know it would autosynch to the cloud.  Now it's out there, and they have to try and get it back before it ruins her career and his life.  Cuz if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Okay, you do not want to watch this if the F word is a problem for you.  Just don't even

Ted (2012) R

Mila Kunis (Friends With Benefits), Mark Wahlberg (Contraband), Seth MacFarlane (A Million Ways to Die in the West)

What if a young boy's Christmas wish that his teddy bear came to life actually came true?  And what would their lives be like twenty-five years later?

I'll be totally honest, I did not want to like this film.  I am not a fan of crude

The Uninvited (2009) PG-13

Emily Browning (Sucker Punch), David Strathairn (Alphas), Elizabeth Banks (Man On A Ledge), Arielle Kebbel (Daydreamer)

Hospitalized after the death of her ill mother in a house fire, Anna (Browning) returns home to find that her mother's in-home nurse is now dating her father.  With no memory of that night, she is haunted by ghostly events and she fears that Rachael (Banks) may have been responsible for the tragedy.

A remake of a Japanese film (A Tale of Two Sisters), I can't help but feel I'm

The Bag Man (2014) R

John Cusack (Identity), Robert DeNiro (Cape Fear), Dominic Purcell (Assault on Wall Street)

A hitman, Jack, (Cusack) is tasked by his boss Dragna (DeNiro) to pick up a bag and deliver it to a motel in the middle of the Louisiana bayou.  His instructions?  Wait in room thirteen, and don't look in the bag.  The problem is the small town local weirdos won't leave him alone...

If you took a sixteen year old off of his Ritalin, got him high on weed, and

Words and Pictures (2013) PG-13

Clive Owen (Children of Men), Juliette Binoche (Chocolat)

Two teachers at a New England prep school get into a battle over words vs. pictures... but is it really about the arts?  Or their hearts?

Drunken poet Jack Marcus (Owen) is a stereotypical writer... published once long ago, but hasn't written a word in years.  Dina DelSanto (Binoche) is a celebrated NYC painter who has lost control of her body to rheumatoid

Dead Snow (2009) NR

Eight medical students on break decide to go to a remote cabin far up in the mountains where they discover a hidden cache of Nazi gold.  When they agree to keep it for themselves, the soldiers rise from their wintry graves and try to take it back.

This is in Norwegian, but it has English subtitles, so as a crafting movie this will suck unless you can knit without looking at your hands.  However, the

Done the Impossible (2006) TV-PG

Joss Whedon, Adam Baldwin, Alan Tudyk, Jewel Staite, Morena Baccarin, Ron Glass, and a whole mess of Browncoats.

Being a die-hard Browncoat, fan of Firefly, avid participant in the message boards (as Tilandra... hi guys!!) and the write-in campaign, I don't know why it took me so long to watch this documentary.  I suppose in a way it was because it's bittersweet... we got our

The Family (2013) R

Robert DeNiro (Stone), Michelle Pfeiffer (The Witches of Eastwick), Tommy Lee Jones (Volcano)

They're on the run from the mob and landed in Normandy.  This just goes to show that life in the witness protection program is not without its problems.  There are gossipy locals, weird food, and brown water coming from

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (2012) NR

 Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (2012) NR

Ed Quinn (Eureka), Stephen Rea (Crying Game)

A troupe of werewolf hunters travel from town to town, village to village, clearing out the beasts.  Their latest prey is different, however, and seems to retain the intelligence of a man in its wolf-form.  Can these hunters save the village from the thing that's terrorizing them?

Oof.  Most of the actors seem to be chosen for their looks or accent, rather than their acting ability.  The one actor from the Vancouver acting pool that I know and like, Quinn, is in it far too little to make up for the wooden performances of the rest.  There's about an hour of tired cliches, followed by some admittedly interesting twists, then more cliches and a rather idiotic ending clearly meant to invite sequels.

Other than the eyeroll count which was off the charts, there is very little to redeem this movie.  One of the hunters chasing after the local doctor's apprentice's girlfriend and attempting to rape her seemed to have no place in the plot except to set up a twist later.  There's a rather large brothel in a teeny, tiny village... I mean, it appeared to be the village's only industry.  Just weird, whacked out script from the first scene.

I gave it a generous two out of five stars.  I didn't *hate* it, but I would never ever watch this again.  I'd recommend it if you're about to take a nap, and the gunshots won't keep you awake, but that's about it.

Transcendence (2014) PG-13

Johnny Depp (Dark Shadows), Paul Bettany (Wimbeldon), Morgan Freeman (Lean on Me)

An A.I. researcher uploads his brain as he's dying and creates the first self-aware A.I. presence.  His widow and friends wonder though... is it really him, or is the copy dangerously flawed?

Equal parts Brainstorm, Continuum, and Lucy, this movie ended on a

Europa Report (2013) PG-13

Karolina Wydra (After), Daniel Wu (The Man With The Iron Fists), Christian Camargo (Hurt Locker)

A six-man team of astronauts travel to Jupiter's moon Europa to discover if a pocket of water beneath the ice's surface contains life.

Imagine if you will, watching forty-five minutes of the NASA channel, then a briefly exciting found-footage home movie, more NASA channel, and then finally about twenty minutes of the film "The Abyss".  That's what watching this film was like.  I nearly dozed off at one point.

Good Luck Chuck (2007) NR

Dane Cook (Employee of the Month), Jessica Alba (Paranoid)

Charlie (Cook), cursed at age 10 by a budding wiccan playing spin the bottle, is the lucky charm that helps every woman he sleeps with find her true love...

Stake Land (2010) R

Nick Damici (Late Phases), Connor Paolo (Favorite Son), Kelly McGillis (Top Gun)

In a dystopian future where vampires have decimated society, a taciturn hunter mentors a young boy through the wastelands of America trying to reach New Eden.

After enjoying Late Phases a lot, I really wanted to love Stake Land.   But this wasn't a vampire movie... they were just the excuse for the setting of the

Take Care (2014) NR

Recently hit by a car, Fran (Leslie Bibb, Iron Man) is struggling to take care of herself with only one working arm and one working leg.  She finally swallows her pride and calls her ex-boyfriend Devon (Thomas Sadoski, Loser) whom she took care of through his cancer, much to the dismay of his current girlfriend.

Swing Vote (2008) PG-13

Kevin Costner (The Postman), Kelsey Grammer (Frasier), Dennis Hopper (My Science Experiment), Nathan Lane (Birdcage)

A voting machine error and a close presidential race brings it down to one drunken single father's vote to decide it all.  The candidates have ten days to sway his decision.

I don't recall seeing anything about this the election year when it came out,

After (2012) PG-13

Steven Strait (Sky High) as Freddy, Karolina Wydra (Europa Report) as Ana.

After a bus crash, two strangers discover they're the only living souls in their home town.  As a menacing dark cloud closes in on them, they struggle to survive and find a way out.

Available only on Netflix so far, this suspense tale is based on a breakout hit novel from the indie author's platform Wattpad.  I have to admit that during

Late Phases (2014) NR

 Late Phases (2014) NR

 

Nick Damici (Stake Land), Ethan Embry (Pizza), and Tom Noonan (Last Action Hero) star in this tale of aging parents, fathers and sons, and werewolves.

Blind Vietnam war veteran Ambrose McKinley (Damici) moves into the retirement community of Crescent Bay.  When he's attacked his first night there, and realizes he's dealing with the supernatural, he knows he has a month to get ready.

I didn't really expect to like this film as much as I did.  While I love a good werewolf tale, they seem to be thin on the ground in recent years.   But if Grumpy Old Men and Silver Bullet had a baby, this would be it.  The one bad thing about this movie was the overall appearance of the creature... they looked like giant furry Gremlins.  However, they are not on the screen for very long, and the story is centered more around the human dynamic.

As a movie for makers, it's solid.  You can work your knitting needles while still following the story.  Three laugh out loud moments, and one Holy Crap moment in this film.  It's understated, but the tension is there.  I think if they'd paid a little less attention to the bitchy old women of the community and spent a little more time polishing the parts with his son and the priest, this would have been a five-star film.  As it is I give it a four out of five stars, and a hearty recommendation for your next Halloween or horror film night.

Queen (2014) NR

Dumped by her fiancee two days before her wedding, traditional Indian daughter Rani decides to go on her honeymoon alone, and discovers happiness again.

Mostly in English subtitled Hindi with some Italian, French, German, and

End Day (2005) NR

As a scientist travels from London to New York, we are shown four possible ways the Earth could end.

Mostly comprised of sensationalist drivel, End Day uses a "Groundhog Day" approach to illustrate

Apartment 143 (2011) R

A recently widowed father invites ghost experts into his apartment to explain the strange occurrences in his home.

Another movie about the paranormal told exclusively through the lenses of

Legally Blonde (2001) PG-13

Reese Witherspoon (This Means War) is sorority girl Elle trying to win back her former boyfriend.  He wants serious?  She's going to law school.  Harvard law school.

At first glance you might dismiss this movie as a typical fish-out-of-water romantic comedy with a ridiculous premise.  However goofy it appears on the surface though, Legally Blonde has a lot more depth and meaning to it

Tower Heist (2011) PG-13

A handful of employees from a ritzy Manhattan residential high-rise take back what's theirs by robbing one of the most unscrupulous residents.

You will see a lot of familiar faces in Tower Heist.  I merely rented it from Netflix because it's one of my favorite genres, but as I watched the names go

Brick Mansions (2014) PG-13

Paul Walker, RZA, David Belle - An undercover vice cop enters Detroit's Brick Mansions district to avenge his father and take down a dangerous drug kingpin.

I swear, I did not go looking for another RZA film, nor did I realize this was

A Fantastic Fear of Everything (2012)

Simon Pegg stars as J.B. "Jack" Knife, children's author, who becomes frightfully paranoid after trying to write a book about serial killers.  It seems with good reason...

This movie is not for everyone.  In parts it's a deeply atmospheric thriller/mystery, yet it inexplicably changes in parts to a comedy of tragic

The Man With The Iron Fists (2012) R

A transplanted blacksmith in a tiny Chinese village is caught between clans in this "wire-fu" movie.

Presented by Quentin Tarantino and directed by rapper RZA, this is a gore-fest of a movie.  I was led to believe ahead of time that this would be horribly violent, but in reality the blood and mayhem was so unrealistic to a comical

Stellina Blue (2009)

A young woman shot in a convenience store robbery survives after a month-long coma and multiple near-deaths.  When she recovers she passes on her miracle to others.

If I had to sum up my experience watching Stellina Blue in one sentence, I'd say it's as if a romantic drama and a high school educational film had a baby.

One Small Hitch (2013)

Josh and Molly create a fake engagement to make a dying man happy... but what happens when the feelings become real?

One Small Hitch is an uncommon thing these days... a rom-com that doesn't ruin the romance with gross-out humor, vulgar behavior for the sake of humor, or random oddball plot points so that it can be called quirky. It's just

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio (2005) PG-13

Julianne Moore (Evolution) stars as the under-appreciated housewife who fully embraces the 1960's "contesting" craze and manages to keep her family of ten kids afloat through hard times.

The thought that I was struck by the most while watching this film is that the more things change, the more they stay the same.  While it's true that women can work outside the home these days, and it's

Flypaper (2011)

Two gangs try to rob the same bank on the same night, and an FBI agent ends up dead... but is there more to the story?

On the surface, Flypaper looks like a typical heist movie.  There is a full cast of people you'll recognize from Star Trek, Red Band Society, Constantine, and Grey's Anatomy.  Underneath, however, this is more of a murder-mystery, with an OCD Sherlock Holmes in the form of Tripp (Patrick Dempsey,

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) - Steve Martin (Roxanne), Michael Caine (Miss Congeniality), Glenne Headly (Don Jon);  Two con-men compete over turf in Mediterranean-coast France.

I have always had a weak spot for confidence movies... Ocean's 11, Now You See Me, etc.  For me,

The November Man (2014)

The November Man (2014) -  Pierce Brosnan, Luke Bracey, Olga Kurylenko, Bill Smitrovich.

Retired CIA operative Peter Devereaux is called back into action to extract a former love from Russia.  When the operation falls apart, he uncovers something even deeper that could have global implications.

Call this movie the "Bourne" movie for the crowd that's old enough to remember Remington Steele.  Spycraft, intrigue, and digital thievery.  Deals with shady characters that might be friends one minute, enemies the next.

Taken 3 (2014)

Taken 3 (2014) - Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen, Forest Whitaker, Maggie Grace - The franchise continues when tragedy means Bryan has to go off-grid not only to protect his daughter, but prove his innocence.

Taken 3 is a slight departure from the previous two films.  As my husband said as the previews were rolling, "Who has he got left that they can kidnap?"  The writers must have had the same thought...

V/H/S (2012)

V/H/S  (2012) - Four criminal youths break into a house to find a rare VHS tape that will bring them a big payday.  As they check out the murderous and creepy collection to find the tape they want, they discover this job was more than they bargained for.

Wasn't the "found footage" movie style pretty much over by 2012?  If you're a fan of the style, you

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) PG-13 -  Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence

While this movie is a thinly veiled attempt to continue the X-men franchise with the "baby X-men" AND include fan-favorite Hugh Jackman, that doesn't make it any less of a thrill.

I will admit, I have not read any of the books.  At all.  I'm more of a Witchblade/Wonder Woman kind of gal.  So if I'm ignorant of the mythos here, and it shows, you'll have to forgive me.

Looper (2012) R

Looper (2012) R -  Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt - Be aware, there will be spoilers in this review.

My first viewing of this movie was an event, for me.  I'd seen trailers, small behind-the-scenes bits, and interviews related to the movie for a long time before it was released.  Our situation is such that we rarely, rarely get to go out to the movies.  As much as I wanted to see this in theaters, we didn't...

About Time (2014)

About Time (2014) R - Domhnall Gleeson (Unbroken), Rachel McAdams (Sherlock Holmes) Timothy discovers on his 21st birthday that the men in his family can travel through time.

A thoroughly charming movie, this is part romantic comedy, and part drama.  Considering the fact

Retroactive (1997)

Retroactive (1997) R - Jim Belushi (K-9), Frank Whaley (Career Opportunities) and Kylie Travis star in this sci-fi story about a small-town Texas grifter and the off-duty police psychologist who accidentally travel through time.

This used to be one of my top-five time travel movies, but it has moved down the list slowly but surely over the years.  Maybe it's because Belushi's broad caricature of a rural Texas hick has started

Time-Bender Week 1

Welcome to the first annual Time-Bender week here on Knitter's Media Review!  The week of my birthday every year I'll do a rundown of the best and the worst in time-bender movies... time-travel, alternate timelines, alternate realities and more.  The first recap and review is coming up shortly, so check your watch and calendar and hang on!

The House at the End of Time (2013)

The House at the End of Time (2013) NR - A woman moves back into her mysterious and possibly haunted house after doing thirty years in prison for murdering her husband and being implicated in the disappearance of her son.

"Look carefully at my face.  Listen to my voice."

This movie is in Spanish, so right away, this is not a good fit for my knitting needs, as I am not fluent.  But in every other way, it is my perfect fit.  It has lighthearted moments of childhood

That Guy... Who Was In That Thing (2012)

That Guy... Who Was In That Thing (2012) TV-14 - A documentary showcasing several actors whom you may not know by name, but you know their faces.

That Guy... is an interview-style documentary.  These actors talk about their successes and failures, what it's like to be in the business, their day jobs, and their families.

All Relative (2014)

All Relative (2014) NR - When Harry, played by Jonathan Sadowski (Live Free or Die Hard), meets Grace, played by Sara Paxton (The Last House on the Left (2009)) at a bowling alley, he's positive he hasn't got a shot.  He hooks up with Maren (Connie Nielsen, Devil's Advocate), an older woman who encourages him to text Grace and ask her out.  When Grace takes Harry up to her parents' house for the weekend to meet her dad before he interviews at dad's architectural firm, a surprising twist might ruin the whole thing.

That is really hard to synopsize without sounding like a fool or giving away any surprises.  Honestly, it's not much of a surprise, as you can see it coming from a mile away, but I'll do what I can.

The Colony (2013)

The Colony (2013) NR - Years after man-made weather control systems froze the entire surface of the Earth, a band of survivors struggle to stay alive in an underground bunker.  When they receive a mysterious SOS from a sister colony, what they discover there is a bigger threat than the cold.

The Colony has a pretty stellar cast spinning a yarn that could be considered a doomsday prepper's wet dream.  Lawrence Fishburne (The Signal) is Briggs, a former soldier who saw command break

Atari: Game Over (2014)

Atari: Game Over (2014) NR -  A documentary detailing the search for the E.T. video game dumping grounds of urban legend, the history of some of the people behind the game, and the gaming enthusiasts who join in the quest.

Thinking back on what must have been Christmas 1974, I remember a relative getting "Pong" or something very much like it.  For some reason I don't know (possibly this was during one of my grandfather's heart attacks) I was spending Christmas with an aunt and her very large extended

Homefront (2013)

Homefront (2013) R - A self-retired DEA undercover agent named Broker (Jason Statham, The Transporter) moves up to his recently-deceased wife's home town in search of a quiet life for him and his daughter.  But when he's drawn to the attention of a local meth manufacturer, his idyllic life starts to get complicated.

Not quite your typical "rednecks mess with the wrong new guy in town" flick, Homefront is about making choices, escalating a problem when you don't need to, and defense of home and family.

Interstellar (2014)

Interstellar (2014) PG-13

Former engineer and test pilot turned farmer Cooper (Matthew McConaughey, A Time to Kill) goes into space to save a dying Earth.

I discovered something new about myself watching this film... I will never be a candidate for space travel.  It started with Gravity, and I thought it was just a fluke of timing.  But ten minutes into space

Carrie (2013) R

Carrie (2013) R - Telekinetic girl wreaks havoc on her class prom when a practical joke goes too far.

I'm not sure you'd call this a remake of the 1976 film, as this was closer to the original source material, the novel "Carrie" by Stephen King.  There were updates to bring it into the modern age with cell phones and the posting of videos, but otherwise the plot was closer.  The body of the picture was excellent, with Chloe Grace Moretz (Kickass) capturing that feeling of being a teenager on the outside of the mainstream perfectly.  Julianne Moore (Children of Men) as Ms. White, with her religious mania and other mental problems of self-harm and abusive behavior was frighteningly realistic.

It was when the pig's blood dropped at the prom that things got bizarre, and not in a "there's some classic Stephen King" kind of bizarre.

Book Review Friday

The Complete Guide to Spinning Yarn: Techniques, Projects, and Recipes - Somewhere in the back of my mind I am fully expecting my Kindle and iPad to stop functioning eventually.  Whether this is a result of old age and living on a fixed income and can't afford to replace expensive gadgets, or the result of the zombie apocalypse, I have not stopped buying paper books.  I am especially fond of books detailing old-world methods of doing things, particularly things that require no electricity, such as food preservation or making clothes.  If that makes me a "prepper", I guess I'm a prepper.

I mean, if the world as we know it ended tomorrow, would you know how to dress a wound, treat a bee sting, or knit continental style without being able to search for a goddamn YouTube video?

I am a self-taught spinner.  I got a lovely Kromski spinning wheel quite a few birthdays back, and while I can put out a decent yarn, I never really felt I knew quite what I was doing.  Other women talk about treadle counts, replicating results over several bobbins, and I was in despair because I mostly just wing it as I go.  I was hoping this book would teach me actual, reproducible techniques that would help me create exactly the yarn I want consistently.

While this book covers a LOT of area in spinning yarn, it doesn't do so in very much detail.  It's a thin book of 144 pages, a lot of which is filled with large color pictures and some charts.  While the color pictures are nice, and very helpful for a visual learner, I was disappointed that it didn't seem to give much practical advice for getting consistent results.  You try counting your number of treadles per inch when that inch could happen in three seconds or thirty, depending on what's going on with your fiber.

Maybe it's the way my brain works, but I did not find this volume very helpful.  It felt more like a teaser for a much more in-depth book.  The recipes in the back for various yarns are more dependent on color changes than anything, so if you don't feel like dying your fiber (or spending a fortune on pre-dyed fiber exactly like it) that portion is not very helpful either.

This would be a good book for a beginning spinner who maybe has their own drop spindle but is wondering whether to take the plunge and buy their own wheel.  In that sense, it gives you a good idea of whether you'd enjoy wheel spinning, and it does have a handy section on drop spindle spinning.

For a slightly advanced amateur, like myself, this was a disappointment.  I find it far from "complete".  Three out of five stars.

Devil (2010) PG-13

Devil (2010) PG-13 - Five strangers in a stuck elevator, and one of them could be the devil.

M. Night Shyamalan gets a lot of flak since "The Village".  Most people either love or hate his movies. I judge each one on its own individual merits, but sometimes a bit of prejudice creeps in.  You start to expect twists.  I tend to try and guess them before they happen, knowing they just have to be there.  When I went to watch this movie for this review, I had already seen the movie once years ago... which actually worked in my favor, because it had been so long since I'd seen it, I couldn't tell if my guesses were based on what was in

Grabbers (2012)

Grabbers (2012) NR - A small Irish island is besieged when an alien crashes in the waters off the coast.  It's allergic to alcohol, so their solution?  A lock-in at the pub!

In Ireland's answer to Tremors, Richard Coyle (Prince of Persia) is alcoholic Garda Ciarán O'Shay, temporarily in charge in his tiny hamlet while his boss is on holiday.  Enter temp Garda Lisa Nolan, played by Ruth Bradley (Flyboys).  She's all work, no play, and no-nonsense.  When a local lobsterman finds an unusual creature in one of his traps, they have to find a way to work together and get along.

I want to say this is a cute little monster movie, but wow... there is nothing cute about this monster. Or the scores of drunk people.  When they find out that a

Crawlspace (2012)

Crawlspace (2012) - An Australian Army extraction team is sent to retrieve a group of scientists after a joint U.S. military/Autralian military research compound in the outback is compromised.  What they find there may be more than their training has prepared them for.

Even before I saw the cover tagline below, I knew this was a poor-man's knockoff of Aliens about fifteen minutes into the picture.  The tight corridors and air ducts, motion detecting equipment, and the snarky, grab-assing squad-mates kinda gave it away.  The fact that it is actually about telepathic human experiments does not detract from that feeling.

In general, I am a fan of movies where your group of heroes is trapped in a confined environment and

The Magic of Belle Isle (2012)

The Magic of Belle Isle (2012) - Morgan Freeman (The Shawshank Redemption) is Monte Wildhorn, a drunken novelist whose writing has reached a screeching halt.  He finds himself living in the picturesque seasonal town of Belle Isle next to a soon-to-be single mother of three girls, Charlotte O'Neil as played by Virginia Madsen (Candyman).  If it is possible to portray a

Knit 2 Together

Knit 2 Together by Tracey Ullman and Mel Clark is the first knitting book I bought back in 2007 when I got back into knitting after Hurricane Katrina.  We'd finally settled into a new home and I'd caught the bug again when I wanted to brighten up a drab couch with a nice colorful afghan.  After finishing the afghan, I went casting about for more fun projects and came across this book.

Tracey Ullman (Tracey Takes On...) actress, comedienne, and fledgling knitter herself shares her knitting experiences along with colorful anecdotes about her life growing up.  While there are a few patterns I would not consider making, the stories in this book are hilarious and more than make up for the occasional oddball pattern.

If you like knitting books that combine stories and knitting tips in the style of the Mason-Dixon knitting series, or if you're a fan of Tracey's comedic work, you'll enjoy this book.

The Brothers Grimm (2005)

The Brothers Grimm (2005) - Matt Damon (Bourne Trilogy) and Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight) are the Grimm brothers... con men who go from village to village, using the old superstitious lore of the area to pose as hunters of the evil and supernatural... for a price.  But when they are caught out by an occupying French general and his Italian torturer, they are sent to a remote village to debunk an ancient curse that turns out to be all too real.  Directed by Terry Gilliam.

Perhaps I am spoiled by TV shows such as Supernatural and (ironically) Grimm, but there is a way to

Strictly Ballroom (1992)

Strictly Ballroom (1992) - Young ballroom dance competitor Scott Hastings (Paul Mercurio, Exit to Eden) wants to shake up the traditional mindset of the Australian Pan Pacific Championships and dance his own way, but everyone is against him.  When beginner Fran (Tara Morice, Moulin Rouge!) asks to be his partner, he sees his chance... but can the ugly duckling be turned into a swan in time?

This weekend was a musical marathon in the house... it's been raining for three straight days, again, and so naturally I started with Singing in the Rain, segued into High School Musical, and finished up with Moulin Rouge!... but only up to the happy "ending".  So this morning I decided to give Strictly Ballroom a try.

Predestination (2014)

Predestination (2014) -  Ethan Hawke (The Purge) stars in this movie about a time-travelling agent, sent to stop a bomber killing thousands.  Based on the short story "All You Zombies" by Robert Heinlein.

I will try to keep this as spoiler-free as possible for those of you who haven't read the source material, while trying to get across my one, main big problem with this movie.  To do this, I will reference another time-traveling movie to get my point across.  Let me tell you a little story...

In the '80s, I read a book, then watched a movie called "Somewhere in Time" starring Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour.  In this movie, Reeve is at a party when an old woman gives him a watch and whispers

Not Another Happy Ending (2013)

Not Another Happy Ending (2013) - Writer Jane Lockhart (Karen Gillan, Doctor Who, Oculus) finally sells her first novel and signs a two-book deal with indie publisher Tom Duval (Stanley Webber, The Swimming Trunks), meets screenwriter Willie (Henry Ian Cusick, LOST) and becomes happy.  So happy, she can't finish her second book.  Tom decides to swoop in with the help of flatmate Roddy (Iain De Caestecker, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) and make her miserable again.  So she can write.  It has nothing to do with the fact that he might be in love with her, right?

Setting aside the obvious pitfalls of a writer writing about an aspiring writer writing, this movie is

Granny Squares

Granny Squares: 20 Crochet Projects with a Vintage Vibe by Susan Pinner -  My daughter has been begging for a bedspread afghan in the eye-bleeding combination of neon yellow and neon pink.  The fastest way for me to accomplish that is with the ever-popular "granny square" blanket.  I tried one once when I re-created Lafayette's afghan from "True Blood" but I made the unfortunate decision to make it with superwash wool.  Superwash, while easy to care for, doesn't grip or react the way regular wool does.  It stretches when wet and can actually slip ends no matter how convolutedly you weave them back into your work.

In short, I ended up with a $150 (in materials, not counting the hours I put into it) blanket that was

Dream House (2011)

Dream House (2011) - The less you know about the plot ahead of time, the more you will like this movie.

Daniel Craig (Quantum of Solace) stars in this psychological thriller/murder mystery.  Will finds out that his house was the site of a gruesome murder five years ago.  In order to protect his wife Libby (Rachel Weisz, The Lovely Bones), and their two daughters, Will Atenton digs into the house's mysterious past.

Sometimes billed as a ghost story, sometimes just a psychological thriller, there are plenty of red herrings in the first half hour that give you the impression that it is both.  In a way, it *is* both.  And

In A World... (2013)

In A World... (2013) - Lake Bell (No Strings Attached) writes, directs and stars in this story about an underachieving voice coach and voice-over artist trying to break the gender barriers of the business.

Carol Solomon is a vocal actor who has a hard time finding work "because she's a chick" despite the fact that her father is a Lifetime Achievement winner in the business.  Tensions run high when she, her father, and the guy she's dating are all up for a job on an important quadrilogy trailer that may decide who will be the next go-to movie trailer voice.

Part romantic comedy, part mockumentary, this movie was a awkward look at voice-acting in L.A.  Part

Dark House (2009)

Dark House (2009) - Part of the Fangoria Frightfest series, this horror film plays out the story of Claire (Meghan Ory, "Once Upon a Time"), a young actress who survived a horrific event at Darrode House fourteen years ago.  Haunted House magnate Walston Ray (Jeffrey Combs, "Reanimator", "Star Trek Deep Space Nine") is looking to turn Darrode House into his latest award-winning

The Omega Man (1971)

The Omega Man (1971) - Charlton Heston (Soylent Green) stars in this adaptation of the novel "I Am Legend" by Richard Matheson.  This novel is the same inspiration for the Wil Smith movie by the same name.  Matheson has been quoted as saying that the movie was so far removed from the book that it didn't even bother him.

A devastating skirmish where China and Russia used germ warfare has wiped out the majority of the planet.  These "cilia" take an ordinary human and somehow make them diseased albinos... some slowly, some nearly instantly, depending on the patient.  The tagline reads "The last man alive is not alone!".  That is an inaccurate statement, considering.  He's actually the last uninfected man, and there's a few regular humans still very much alive... they're just all infected.  Heston is searching for the nest of infected humans by day, and holed up in his old apartment by night.  When he meets Lisa played by Rosalind Cash (Klute, General Hospital), he discovers that not only are there humans, but quite a few children who are just plain immune to the disease.  What follows is his attempts to find a cure and save what's left of the human race.

The first on-screen interracial kiss was on the original Star Trek series in 1963.  This movie was eight years later, and it seems the studios got over their reluctance in that time.  This film is rated PG.  The

Crochet One-skein Wonders

Crochet One-skein Wonders - In the world of knit and crochet, there are always crafters with one or two oddball skeins of yarn that go unused... they bought more than was needed for a project, found an adorable color in a sale bin they couldn't resist, etc.  And then there are the frugal crafters who love crafting, but hate the hefty price tag... decent soft yarn for the average women's sweater can cost anywhere from $30 to $120 and up, depending on the fiber content.  Sure, you could make a sweater out of the cheap

Barefoot (2014)

Barefoot (2014) - Jay (Scott Speedman, Underworld) is the black sheep of a well-to-do New Orleans family, gambling, boozing, fighting, and sleeping his way across Los Angeles.  He's mopping floors in a mental hospital as a condition of his parole.  Desperate for money to repay debts to some seriously criminal people, he decides to go home for his little brother's wedding to hit up the family.  When Daisy (Evan Rachael Wood, Across the Universe), who's lived her entire life as a shut-in with her mother follows him out of the institution, he decides to pass her off as his girlfriend.

Despite the potential for endlessly offbeat humor, this movie was actually

Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

Olympus Has Fallen (2013) - A group of militant Koreans attempting to get the US out of the middle of their decades-long civil war attack the White House and take hostages in the building's underground bunker.  America's only hope lies with former Secret Service agent Mike Banning (Gerard Butler, 300, Timeline).

I served in the US Military.  I am a die-hard patriot, but sometimes... sometimes Hollywood's use of patriotic themes, symbolism and fanfare piss me right the fuck off.  They're like children waving around the flag... they know it can make

Chef (2014)

Chef (2014) - A multi-star cast heats things up with this honest movie about a chef who self-destructs on social media.

Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Friends) is twitter-clueless chef Carl Casper who gets in

I, Frankenstein

I, Frankenstein (2014) - The most recent adaptation (if you can call it that) of Mary Shelley's novel stars Aaron Eckhart (The Dark Knight) as Adam, Frankenstein's monster, and Yvonne Strahovski (Chuck, Dexter) as Dr. Terra Wade, the unwitting human scientist tasked with animating thousands of human bodies for the demonic side of an ancient war between gargoyles and demons.

I really should not have enjoyed this movie as much as I did.  While the CGI effects were amazing eye candy that brought to mind my delight on seeing the effects of "Blade" for the first time, the story itself was filled with the trite,

Icelandic Handknits

For a while there in the early 20-teens, I was on a sort of quest for heritage knitting techniques.  Lacking a true history of my own heritage, I was investigating a lot of different methods from several different countries.  Icelandic Handknits was one of my attempts to learn true old-world techniques.  Unfortunately it was not the right type of book for that.

Don't get me wrong... this hardcover volume is gorgeous, and the author did a lot

The Answer Man (2009)

The Answer Man (2009) - Arlen Faber (Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom, Independence Day)  is a reclusive author who wrote a bestselling spirituality book twenty years ago.  Elizabeth (Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls) is a new chiropractor and single mom trying to make a fresh start.  Kris (Lou Taylor Pucci, The Evil Dead (2013)) is an alcoholic fresh out of rehab with a struggling used book store.  When their lives come together, they help each other in ways no-one could have imagined.

I wanted to take a break from the ghost stories and sci-fi and try a romantic comedy.  What I didn't realize is that I had watched this years ago, but it was still cute and heartwarming on a second viewing.  It's odd to find a romantic comedy

The Awakening (2011)

The Awakening (2011) spins the tale of Florence Cathcart (Rebecca Hall, Transcendence), a turn-of-the-century ghost-debunker.  Set in the lush history of post-war England, she travels to a boarding school where a student has died... supposedly scared to death by a ghost.

Florence travels to an old house that has been converted to a boy's boarding school.  There she has assistance from the housemistress and one of the staff, Robert Mallory (Dominic West, John Carter) in catching the perpetrators of the ghost hoax.  Is it some of the children playing pranks, or is there something more sinister afoot?

This is a richly-textured movie, and definitely gothic in the strictest definition of
the term.  Think of Downton Abby and then imagine holding a seance with legitemate results in the dining room, and you might get an idea of the

Housebound (2014)

Housebound is the story of Kylie, a drug user who gets busted while trying to rob an ATM with what I assume is her boyfriend.  She's sentenced to eight months of house arrest in her childhood home with her mother and step-father.  There's a problem... the house might be haunted.

I found this movie to be absolutely brilliant due to a lot of factors.  The acting is

Stranded (2013)

Stranded (2013) - This movie is proof that just because Christian Slater (Broken Arrow, My Own Worst Enemy) and Brendan Fehr (Roswell, CSI: Miami) are in it, doesn't mean that it's automatically going to be any good.  I had to add a new count category to my review process... the "eyeroll" count.  There were plenty going on here.

Stranded is the story of four moonbase inhabitants who end up with a crapload of problems starting with a meteor shower and subsequent alien infestation... from spores.

First Book of Modern Lace Knitting (1953-1972)

Book review Friday:
First Book of Modern Lace Knitting (Dover Knitting, Crochet, Tatting, Lace)

The title of this book is deceptive, unless you consider 1953 to be "modern".  For someone who loves to create doilies, and is looking for new patterns or techniques, this is still a fairly nice book.

There are some quirks you're going to want to be aware of, however.  First, all

Cowboys and Aliens (2011)

Cowboys and Aliens (2011) - Holy cow, I could barely muster enough enthusiasm to write this review.


A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take all of our gold.  A group of locals is all that stands in their way.

Ghost Graduation (2012)

A young teacher can't seem to keep a job because of his special gift... he's able to see and talk to spirits.  When he finally gets a job at a new school, it's inhabited by five spirits of students who died in a library fire in 1986.  Can he put his talent to use and help them move on?

Ghost Graduation (2012) is a Spanish, quirky mix of "Ghostbusters" and "The Breakfast Club".  The start of the film shows a young Modesto (Raúl Arévalo) when he sees his first ghost... he dances with a young girl at a school dance to

In Your Eyes (2014)

"In Your Eyes" - Two strangers... one in New Hampshire and one in New Mexico... are telepathically linked.  The nervous and timid Becky (Zoey Kazan, "What If") has a controlling jerk for a husband.  Down-on-his-luck Dylan (Michael  Stahl-David, "New Girl") is trying to escape his small-town life of crime.  The only bright thing about their lives is their link to each other.  An emotional bond is formed...  could it be love?

This independent film written and produced by Joss Whedon and directed by Brin Hill is a semi-sweet supernatural love story that's fairly unique.