Stranded (2013)

Stranded (2013) - This movie is proof that just because Christian Slater (Broken Arrow, My Own Worst Enemy) and Brendan Fehr (Roswell, CSI: Miami) are in it, doesn't mean that it's automatically going to be any good.  I had to add a new count category to my review process... the "eyeroll" count.  There were plenty going on here.

Stranded is the story of four moonbase inhabitants who end up with a crapload of problems starting with a meteor shower and subsequent alien infestation... from spores.

Every space-faring movie cliche is in this picture.

Despite decent acting by the entire cast, they just couldn't rescue the movie from its terrible, terrible script.  The instant it opens the characters are in crisis... and they just keep moving from crisis to crisis, never stopping, and never revealing much about themselves.  You can't tell if their stupid reactions are because they're all in a stressful situation, or the military just bypassed any kind of psych eval before they sent them up there.

I mean, what kind of idiot puts rubbing alcohol in his hip flask?  These people are supposed to be scientists... even I know that's a good way to hallucinate and go blind, and I'm not an astronaut.  The near-instant hostility by Cameron against Slater's base commander was... weird.  The characters were all acting like college kids trying to do a Serious Job instead of trained, military professionals.

Netflix accurately predicted I'd give this two out of five stars.  That's actually quite generous.  There was one LOL during this movie when Cameron gave birth and fainted.  I don't think that was intentional.  No needle-drop count today, as one of the dogs decided the movie was the perfect excuse to crawl across my lap and stay there.  I did count more than six "eyeroll" moments... most notably by the airlock before Brendan Fehr disappeared, and when Cameron put the necklace in the dead guy's hand.

If you need non-distracting background noise, or feel like watching a movie where you're constantly telling the characters to stop acting so stupid, then this movie is for you.  If you're looking for fine cinema, give it a pass.