I, Frankenstein

I, Frankenstein (2014) - The most recent adaptation (if you can call it that) of Mary Shelley's novel stars Aaron Eckhart (The Dark Knight) as Adam, Frankenstein's monster, and Yvonne Strahovski (Chuck, Dexter) as Dr. Terra Wade, the unwitting human scientist tasked with animating thousands of human bodies for the demonic side of an ancient war between gargoyles and demons.

I really should not have enjoyed this movie as much as I did.  While the CGI effects were amazing eye candy that brought to mind my delight on seeing the effects of "Blade" for the first time, the story itself was filled with the trite,
dogmatic language of all movies about the battle between good and evil.  It could not have been more cliche even if someone had called Adam "the chosen one".   Because there's always a friggin' "chosen one".

Needless to say there were quite a few eyeroll moments in this film... seven, by my count.  The most notable was when Adam took off his shirt in front of Terra (possibly the most annoying spelling of the name Tara I have ever seen... what is she, a planet?) and there's a brief moment that seemed to call to mind the phrase "chicks dig scars".  Hello... we knew he was stitched together.  Those scars ain't trophies, ladies.  Second, why did they autopsy the scientist they were using as their first human reanimation?  What the heck good did that do?  I'd list all seven, but really I shouldn't get started or we'd be here all day.

The whole movie felt like a glossed-over and chopped up version of a much larger film, or series of films.  There was one laugh-out-loud moment, and I remember it being a legitimate one near the beginning of the film, but I can't tell you for the life of me what it was at.  I didn't craft during this movie... I'm still working on a complex cabled afghan for a wedding present, so I wanted to keep my focus.  I would estimate a lot of needle-drops though, because the basic appeal of this movie is the gorgeous CGI effects and scenery.  For that reason alone, I would not recommend this as a movie while crafting.  Without the visuals it's just a crap-fest.

For many reasons, I give this a three out of five stars.  With a better script or a more fleshed out (possibly less-edited) plot, it could have been a great movie.  It's good for killing an hour and a half when you just want to veg out to pretty visuals, but I wouldn't recommend it more than once.